Watching, Listening, Reading

The sky was blue for about 20 minutes yesterday, but otherwise it's been a long rainy week here in Chicago. We're so close to Spring Break - each gray morning is another reminder of how much we all need some time away. Summoning the motivation to do anything other than curl up on the couch after work is getting more and more difficult. Luckily, I've found enjoyment and escape in a few different forms of entertainment:

Prison Break: IT'S BACK, PEOPLE. (Obvious spoilers to anyone who never watched the original show.) Yes, eight years after the finale, Prison Break 2.0 dares to ask the question we were all wondering: What if Michael didn't die? This nine episode "sequel" premiered yesterday and with close to 4 million viewers, it looks like fans are on board with whatever intense/complex/far-fetched storyline writers and producers have up their sleeves. I certainly am - seeing Lincoln, Dr. Tancredi, C-Note, T-Bag, Sucre, and Michael back on my TV screen is nostalgia I'm down for.

S-Town: What a strange and beautiful podcast. I went into it thinking I'd hear about an unsolved mystery, or at the very least the shady workings of a small town in Alabama, and I ended with a greater understanding of my humanity. S-Town (Shit Town) tells the story of a creative, tortured, and one-of-a-kind genius, with forays into the lives of other characters and descriptions of places and situations I'm completely unfamiliar with. Since all seven episodes are available, this podcast listens more like an audiobook than a series with weekly installments, but pace yourselves nonetheless.

Yes Please: Speaking of audiobooks, I had a hunch that listening to Amy Poehler read her own book would be worth not having something physical to hold/page through/look back on to find perfectly witty nuggets of advice and I wasn't wrong. Poehler reads like she means it - because she does. No droning or monotone voices here, just a lifelong writer/improviser bringing her own words to life before my very ears.

All These Wonders: If this collection of "True Stories About the Unknown" from the Moth is as enchanting as the cover and Neil Gaiman's foreword, I've got some wonderful reading ahead of me. Gaiman writes, "Honesty matters. Vulnerability matters. Being open about who you were at a moment in time when you were in a difficult or an impossible place matters more than anything." I mean, c'mon.

Super Bowl LI: America, the Beautiful

The real winners last night? America. Because for several hours we could all focus our energies on cheering for the Falcons. Did they pull through for us? No. But at this point, we're used to things not going our way. We're used to picking ourselves up, dusting off our shoulders, and preparing for next season. Tom Brady may have another ring for whatever reason we still do that, but the rest of us have Lady Gaga, Hulu, Margaret Atwood, and Expedia.

Sisterhood

The women of Hamilton started us off strong, with their gorgeous rendition of "America the Beautiful" and spot on addition of "sisterhood" to the lyrics:


Lady Gaga picked up the torch at Halftime, proving her one-woman show is just enough (alright, her dancers and crowd back up were pretty great too) :


A slew of commercials got it right by casting women as more than just party-goers, sex objects, or nagging wives:

My Name is Offred: I'm working my way through a few Margaret Atwood books this year, but The Handmaid's Tale was my first (in high school? college? a while ago). This trailer has me close to activating a Hulu premium account.


Hero's Journey: Despite the unfortunate name (Niro? Really, Kia?), this spot for an otherwise forgettable car was memorable thanks to Melissa McCarthy using her comedic talents AND a timely message about doing what we can do save our one and only planet.


Red Zone: Secret is a women's deodorant line, so it makes sense for their ad to feature a woman. They up their game by giving us a woman who knows her football and isn't afraid to share her knowledge. Bonus points for Packer apparel!


Patriotism
It's a strange state of affairs when a commercial displaying positive (dare I say American?) values is viewed as a message of opposition to the current administration, and yet here we are. A few companies weren't afraid to take a stance on today's biggest issues, namely immigration and inclusion, and they deserve recognition (along with the pressure of following through on their statements).

Born the Hard Way: History has a funny way of showing us the present, and this Budweiser ad does just that. Lest we forget we're all immigrants here (Native Americans excluded), Eberhard Anheuser and Adolphus Busch are here to remind us that the dreams of our ancestors brought us to this country.


Home: Despite the craziness it caused in actual homes, this ad did it right by showing us how the product can help you in your home - I believed in all of those families and their situations. Google featured plenty of subtle nods to diversity and inclusion, as well as empowerment to all through the use of available resources.


Train: What's the key to this 30-second love letter to travel? Its conclusion that "you" are what makes the world a better place, and you do it through broadening your horizons. Travel has the power to change the world, even if it's just your own.

Friday Night Links 35

A few fun things:

Three episodes in, Jesus and I are HOOKED on Westworld.

Are you a Bad Hombre or a Nasty Woman? (Either way....VOTE.)

What would you trade for a cubs ticket?

Nice sweater, Aaron.

Scary Movies 2016

We're deep in spooky season and it shows in my Netflix queue and Redbox rental history. Here are a few of my favorite scares from this season (some new releases, some just new to me!):

Jaws

Spielberg's classic shark tale is a movie everyone should watch at some point in their lives. The understated humor, the subtle glances, and the modest effects allow the story and the suspense to take the lead. It's hard not to be amazed at 1975 movie magic. And this trailer - perfect!

Don't Look Under the Bed

This 1999 Disney Channel Original Movie is way ahead of its time, dealing with themes like childhood cancer, different ways of grieving, the use of logic versus emotions, and teen angst. Frances has to convince not only her parents, but also herself that not everything can be explained using reason - and that imaginary friends are lost to growing up too soon.

The Conjuring 2

There's nothing like banking on a successful horror franchise! Thanks to director/producer James Wan (director - Saw, Dead Silence, Death Sentence, Insidious, The Conjuring, Insidious: Chapter 2, Furious 7 (and upcoming Aquaman) and producer - the rest of the Saw franchise, Annabelle, Insidious: Chapter 3, Lights Out (and upcoming Annabelle 2 and Insidious: Chapter 4)), we now know what maybe happened with the case of the Enfield Poltergeist in 1977. Spoiler: it wasn't sunshine and rainbows.

The X-Files: Season 5 and Fight the Future

Jesus and I finally made it through Season 5 of The X-Files - a long one with strange dips into conspiracy and a lot of backstory, much of it leading up to the movie released between seasons 5 and 6 - The X-Files: Fight the Future. The movie was a treat, and felt like classic episodes from earlier seasons. It was part mystery/whodunit and part paranormal investigation. We're quite ready for Season 6 now.

American Horror Story: Seasons 1 & 2

We're pretty late to the party with this one, but since so many people seem to love AHS and it features new story lines each season (which means we can treat the show like 6 mini-shows), we're finally on board. We have noticed in these first two seasons a lot of build-up (episodes 1-5ish) and then a roller coaster ride to the finale. It seems as thought in each season there has been one episode that holds the key to all the mysteries laid out in previous episodes; if we can stay hooked until then, we're golden.

Extras: Scary Movies 2015, 2014, and 2013 plus our Halloween activities so far this month.

Let's Get Political

It's Debate Night, people. Watch on almost any channel. Drink if you must. Be nice online and informed at the proverbial water cooler tomorrow.

For those who are undecided: Really?

For those of you who already know who you're voting for (myself included): watch to stay informed, or at least for a laugh.

For those who think their 3rd party vote will enact change at a federal level: start smaller, my friends. Get 3rd party politicians into local and state offices first, then go for Congress. "This is not the time for a protest vote."

For those of you who aren't voting: please rethink your decision!

A Confession

I watch The Bachelor (& The Bachelorette & yep, even--especially?--Bachelor in Paradise). And I have a few thoughts.

1. I enjoy these shows because I love characters and storytelling. It's like watching a soap opera, but with real world implications (even if the world of the show is anything but real).
2. After tonight's announcement of our newest Bachelor, Nick Viall, it's so easy to see how integral storytelling and editing are to this show. This appeals to the writer in me. Let me explain using Nick as my example:

In 2014, Nick was on The Bachelorette. He dated a woman named Andi. He dated her so hard, in fact, that he was ready to propose at the end of it all. Instead, Andi dumped him for Josh, a man Nick had been competing with the entire season. Nick later revealed certain things on live television that didn't help his image and he became Public Enemy #1 of Bachelor Nation.

Another contestant on Andi's season, Chris, became the Bachelor. And, as these things go, a contestant Chris eventually dumped, Kaitlyn, followed as Bachelorette. Kaitlyn dated a group of men that soon included...Nick. He joined Kaitlyn's season late, citing a pre-show connection with her, and not wanting to regret letting her get away. The romantics swooned at his persistence. The haters scoffed at his ploy for attention. The TV-lovers popped another bag of popcorn and settled in for the entertainment.

Nick also dated Kaitlyn to the point of a proposal. He made it all the way again, only to (again) be dumped. On television. And passed over for a dude with some seriously great hair (love you, Shawn B). He remained a villain, for the "sneaky" way he came on the show (mid-season) and amidst accusations of "using the show" to make some sort of public comeback, instead of to find love. And because of his "past" with Andi.

One of Kaitlyn's exes, Ben, became the Bachelor and his runner-up, Jo Jo took her turn as Bachelorette. Bachelor Nation didn't hear or see much of Nick, except in lists of top Bachelor Villains and as one of Andi's exes in her tell-all, It's Not Okay. Then came Summer 2016, and the third season of Bachelor in Paradise.

Nick has been a breath of fresh air on BiP 3. His commentary is spot on: he says what we're all thinking and he neither sugar coats nor goes overboard with the drama. He's the sarcastic guy in class we all want to befriend. Early on in the season he was (again) at odds with his old nemesis, Josh (who, spoilers, didn't stay with Andi & is also looking for "love" on BiP), but in all altercations Nick comes across as down-to-earth and genuine. And now he's our next Bachelor.

Villains don't get to be Leads. That's not how the Bachelor world works. Nick took on the mantle of his "villain edit," and came back for more - to show Bachelor Nation another side, or sides, of himself until he became what he is today (and more specifically, tonight): America's Sweetheart. He's a fascinating person, and the editing team for all the Bachelor iterations deserves an Emmy for what is about to be a three-year character arc on a reality television show. 

SB50: "None of This Makes Any Sense"

For an event that's half a century old, the Super Bowl still has game. A lot of people (okay, a lot of my coworkers) counted out Manning and the Broncos assuming Cam Newton and the almost undefeated Panthers would have their way on the field, but I held out hope that a salty veteran would know how to handle a game that's as much mental as it is physical. Turns out I should have been focusing on the other side of the field: Defense. They win championships, and Denver's certainly proved that last night.

Beyond the football, there was a lot of weirdness going on all around. There were no Roman numerals. That field looked like a pilly sweater. Peyton Manning kissed Papa John. It was mostly good weird, some uncomfortable weird, and then a sprinkle of "what the shit just happened?" weird. Let's start with some good.

Good Weird (aka, We're All Little Monsters)

Lady Gaga Singing the National Anthem: Showing up like a last minute candidate for the Born This Way Party, Lady Gaga won over plenty of supporters with her pantsuit, matching eye shadow, and (duh) her voice. It surprises me that people are still surprised by her talent - the woman is a workhorse, and she's trained almost her whole life in a multitude of art forms.

10 Cloverfield Lane: Only because I just watched Cloverfield and my boyfriend is deep in the ARG for 10, a "blood relative" of the original - for such a mysterious movie, they picked quite the powerful (and expensive) platform to share the next trailer. Even I'm interested.

Avocados from Mexico: Avocados are 2 for 2 on Super Bowl commercials. As a food product that I don't ever foresee needing more PR, these ads are a little puzzling, but always entertaining. If anything, they reaffirm my desire to eat avocados at every meal.

Super Bowl Babies Choir featuring Seal: I mean, c'mon. Weird, yes - these kids are essentially singing about their parents getting it on as the result of a football game - but Oh So Good at the same time. How long did it take to even pull this ad together? How did they cast it? WHY ARE THE SEATTLE BABIES SO ADORABLE?

Audi's "Starman": In a beautiful homage to David Bowie, Audi gave a retired astronaut another shot at space travel. This commercial was more sweet than weird, but if you stop to think about it for longer than the 30 seconds it lasts, you do come away wondering how driving a car could ever be like taking a rocket to the moon.

Bad Weird (aka, Real Dads Are Not Like TV Dads)

Doritos "Ultrasound": Okay, yes. This ad made me laugh. It made me go "Ohhh man," and hold my gut. It gave me a visceral reaction. But. Do we need another doofus dad who eats chips in the history of Super Bowl commercials? If I'm judging these commercials by the $5 million they paid to get them on TV, I'm disappointed in this junk food stereotype.

Hyundai "First Date" w/ Kevin Hart: I was turned off during this whole spot which basically declared war between Hart and his daughter's date, leaving the daughter to play the prize to be won/protected. Not only is the overprotective dad thing way overdone everywhere, but in this ad, the daughter doesn't have a voice at all. Also: notice how this review isn't even about Hyundai at all? That's some ineffective marketing.

Every ad for bodily functions or finances: People of the advertising world need to understand something. Ain't nobody watching the Super Bowl to see bodily functions anthropomorphized. We're here to eat, watch football, and hopefully get entertained. Please don't preach to us about the economy.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat Weird (aka I'm Too Old For These Commercials)

Taco Bell Quesalupa: How many different quasi-Mexican foods can you Frankenstein together before college kids and people who need food at bar close stop trusting you? Apparently at least one more.

Bai Horse Whisperer: It's not supposed to make sense, so I guess we shouldn't force it.

Mountain Dew "Puppy Monkey Baby": Clearly the winner of the weird last night. Will it be a sales winner as well? I highly doubt it.


I'll leave you with this:

Binge Listening/Watching

Because I had a two week break for Christmas and New Year's (#teachingfellowlife privileges), I was able to start and finish several podcasts and TV shows. If you know me, you know I read a lot, but every now and then I need something visual or auditory. Here's what's been entertaining, enlightening, and challenging me:

Elise Gets Crafty (Season 2 - 2015) I dipped in and out of Elise's second season of her podcast on small business, motivation, goals, and blogging. I like that the topic of each of her conversations is made available so I can chose ones that speak more to my existence. I'm also a fan of whenever it's just Elise talking, because she talks much like she blogs, which is to say, she's easy to listen to and agree with.

Serial (Season 2) Bowe Bergdahl doesn't quite catch my attention like Adnan Syed did, but Sarah Koenig could narrate the phone book and I'd listen. I'm still wondering where Season 2 will end up, but I'm not as in to the story of a US soldier leaving his post and being captured by the Taliban.

Limetown (Season 1) A mysterious, X-Files-esque, fictional podcast styled after Serial, Limetown is what Jesus and I listen to while doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen on nights when he's home for dinner. Each episode is a serious cliffhanger, and after six full episodes plus a few bonus ones, we're still in the dark about a lot of things. I think they could've released a few more episodes to keep us interested, because I'm probably going to forget a lot of things before the next season arrives.

Making a Murderer (Season 1) The ten episodes of Making a Murderer only felt like one lengthy documentary - that's how quickly watching it went. The history of Steven Avery's arrests and trials for a rape in 1985 and a murder in 2005 is heartbreaking, no matter what you come away believing. It also hit home in a lot of places for me - the accents, the use of "y'owe" for "you know," the shots of the Green Bay Correctional Institution (located only a few miles from St. Norbert, along the Fox River Trail) - so I was hooked from the get go.



Master of None (Season 1) On a much different note, I love Aziz Ansari's stand up, and I'm very excited about his new show Master of None as well. I liked that each episode followed a chronological timeline while still maintaining its own autonomy. It was great to see so many other fresh and talented actors in each episode, and even greater that they weren't all white men. Aziz hits so many hot topics of today - men and women, people of color, the dating scene, interacting with parents and grandparents, becoming adults and/or parents...each episode was basically a commentary on something true about our culture, without being too preachy or too jaded. I won't give it away, but the end scene made me so happy!



Extra: NPR has a new guide with over 200 podcast episodes to try out based on your interests - find a new podcast, or just check out individual episodes!

Velvet

There's a reason why my posts have been scarce, and it's the same reason that my Spanish is slowly improving: Velvet.

Velvet (on Netflix) is a Spanish television series set in 1950s Madrid. It follows the ups and downs in the lives of the seamstresses, sales staff, and owners of Velvet, a high class fashion store. It only took the first episode to hook me, and now that I am in season 2 I'm all but dreaming about the characters and their stories.

There's the Marquez family - Alberto, Velvet's owner, and his stepmother Gloria and stepsister Patricia, both of whom would like more control over the store than what they have. Then there's the Otegui family - Gerardo, the wealthy patriarch, and his children: Cristina, who is in love with Alberto (even though he is in love with Ana, a seamstress), and Enrique, who would rather be a shrewd businessman than husband to his wife Barbara. Mateo works as Alberto's right hand man, balancing out Gerardo's demands.

Then we have the sales staff, headed up by Emilio, and the seamstresses under the strict command of Blanca. This is where the real life of the store is - on the sales floor and in the workroom. Between Pedro's antics, Clara's dramatization of anything that happens to her, and the friendship of Ana, Rita, and Luisa, I'm not sure who entertains me most.

In short, I've laughed, I've cried, I've shouted "TELL HER YOU LOVE HER!" at my TV, and I've learned a few choice phrases in Spanish, such as: "El me quiere!" ("He loves me!"), "Confia en mi." ("Trust me."), "En serio?!" ("Really?!"), and "Dime la verdad." ("Tell me the truth."). Who knew learning could be so much fun (and so dramatic!)?

Here is the Season One trailer - a nice set up for the show. No subtitles, but it gives Ana and Alberto's history (they grew up together at Velvet until his parents sent him away to London for school), and shows us Alberto's return to the galleries (and the problems he encounters once there) to take ownership of them.

Scary Movies 2015

How is tomorrow Halloween already? October flew by in a whirlwind of spooky activities, lesson planning, and weekend guests. Here's this year's round up of scary movies and TV shows - just enough spook to get us to next October.

Sleepy Hollow

After going to a live re-enactment of the Sleepy Hollow story, Jesus and I decided to watch Tim Burton's retelling. The movie follows the original short story to a point, then it rides off on its own crazy tale. Still fun to watch!


Corpse Bride

Staying with the Tim Burton theme, and because it was featured on Netflix, we watched Corpse Bride. In this animated musical, Victor and Victoria are one night away from their wedding when Victor finds himself in the land of the dead, being wooed by the late Emily. He must find a way back to his living bride before it's too late.


Insidious Chapter 3
Due to the scare factor and intrigue of the first two installments of the Insidious series, we couldn't not watch Insidious Chapter 3. While this one keeps up with the jump scares, the story isn't as compelling as that of the first two movies. A solid Spooky Month watch, but not a "good" movie in itself.

Paranormal Activity 1-5
We started marathoning the Paranormal Activity series a bit before October, as a pre-spook to get ready for the month (and because I had never seen any of the movies). To anyone who wants to watch, but hasn't yet I recommend doing it all in one go. That way you remember more of what just happened. The continuity of the films is surprisingly good, even in cases where the story isn't about the first main characters.


The X-Files, Season 4
Finally, we're continuing our way through The X-Files (and excited for the new continuation!). This fall we got through most of Season 4, learning more about Cancer Man's past, Scully's future, and Mulder's weird neuroses.

Sunday Night Survey: Grammy Edition

It's Grammy night! If all goes as planned, I'll have dinner ready in about an hour and I'll be able to settle in for a night of live (on TV) music interspersed with awards every now and then. Join me back here at 7 to read all about it!

7:00 pm: LL Cool J is on TV...that can only mean one thing! #grammytime (Or NCIS: LA, I guess).

7:04 pm: The crowd doesn't look to be too impressed (there was a little girl cringing and a dude with absolutely no emotion on his face), but I think AC/DC is crushing it up there.

7:05 pm: Devil horns appeared! And at least Katy Perry, Blake Shelton, and Lady Gaga are having a good time.

7:08 pm: "devilishly good" - Oh LL, I hope this is just the beginning of tonight's puns. Also, 23 performances!?

7:10 pm: Taylor's gonna Tay...as only Taylor can. It's true, I think the losers in this category are gonna be okay. My guess is Sam Smith or Iggy....and the Grammy goes to: Sam Smith. :) This makes me happy. I just bought his CD and I can't wait to listen to it from front to back on my road trip coming up next weekend. "I won a Grammy! Thank you." - Sam Smith, perfect acceptance speech.

7:16 pm: I love Anna Kendrick. That's all.

7:17 pm: Very cool earpiece bling, Ariana Grande. Loving that clear piano, too. I wish I knew how to do dramatic eye liner. Her face at the end! I love when performers reveal true feelings/show their age (which for Ariana is 21

7:22 pm: The best/most interesting part of the Grammys, for me, is all the random duets/trios/group performances. Jessie J and Sir Tom Jones are a good match. Jessie J's dress, not so much.

7:23 pm: More cuts to John Legend and Chrissy Teigan, please!

7:25 pm: Best Pop Solo Performance...what a stacked category. All of these songs were played heavy on the radio. Pharrell looks...so young (he's 41). That suit isn't my favorite. It looks like it was made from old car seats. I miss the hats.

7:33 pm: Miranda Lambert...this song isn't really about a red wagon is it? Loving your leather. And how hard this song is rocking for being country.

7:37 pm: Best Pop Vocal Album goes to: Sam Smith again! What a great suit.

7:44 pm: Kanye West looks like he just rolled out of bed. That performance was just meh.

7:48 pm: "That's a dope ass uniform though." Jesus, about the Minotaurs? (Bulls?) performing with Madonna.

7:52 pm: This song is called "Lift Me Up"...I'm waiting for her to start flying on the stage. She has a safety harness on.

7:53 pm: Aaaaand there it is.

7:54 pm: Beck wins Best Rock Album. A whole bunch of meh.

8:03 pm: Best R & B Performance: I'm pretty sure Beyonce has to win. She looks amazing. It's nice of her to thank God, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't care about the Grammys (I feel the same way about athletes who thank God)...

8:05 pm: The moment of shock when you realize that's John Mayer playing the pink guitar. Dang, he looks good. Ed Sheeran, not my type, but I LOVE this song.

8:10 pm: Ed Sheeran + ELO, good match.

8:15 pm: And now, half of The Voice judges. I really like Adam Levine's blue-faced watch. Gwen Stefani's dress looks too big for her. "This song kinds sucks." - Jesus

8:25 pm: That's an awesome guitar, Hozier. He looks like Josh Groban had a baby with the dude from The Darkness. (or Weird Al and Kenny G, Jesus says.)

8:28 pm: Could Annie Lennox be any cooler? She looks great.

8:31 pm: I hate Meghan Trainor and Nick Jonas together, visually. Their outfits are hurting my eyes.

8:34 pm: I'm excited for this version of Happy. And it's not disappointing. Hans Zimmer should remake everything. Pharrell made his shoes by stepping in glue, then glitter.

8:44-8:52 pm: I'm not sure what to say about all of this. I'm happy and sad about it.

8:58 pm: If you strip away all the glitz and glimmer, Lady Gaga is just a very solid performer. That being said, I love her hair.

9:03 pm: Do you think it's as fun to be a harpist as it looks? Usher is ushering Stevie to the stage.

9:13 pm: What is with the sunglasses.

9:19 pm: What is with the skinny jeans.

9:21 pm: I really like this song ("FourFiveSeconds"). Rihanna is wearing a lot of clothes. That blazer is coming off at some point, I'm sure. Maybe not. Huh.

9:30 pm: I'm sure not everyone loves Taylor's dress, but I'm digging it. The color and the cut.

9:33 pm: Oh Sam. Mary's not bad either.

9:35 pm: EVERYONE IS FRIENDS WITH EVERYBODY. That can't be real, right?

9:36 pm: This is how we feel about Jaunes (the outfits mostly).

9:39 pm: Albums, books, and black lives. They matter, people. I really don't know how Beck won Best Album...are any of his songs even on the radio? He looks as shocked as everyone else...and it looks like Kanye agrees!! That was great.

9:53 pm: Sia + Kristen Wiig + Maddie = brilliant.

9:54 pm: Tonight is Sam's night.

10:02 pm: Can we just have Chris Martin? I'll pass on Beck, winner or not.

10:07 pm: Record of the Year, not to be confused with Album of the Year. Best reaction goes to Sia - she's like hell, yeah I don't have to go on stage! Sam, meanwhile, is like I am SO glad I got dumped.

10:17 pm: What is this boring stuff. C'mon, people, we're over three hours already. Performances and funny acceptance speeches only!

10:18 pm: Never mind, it's memorial time. Oof.

10:27 pm: Finally. The show is over after Beyonce, right? "I am tired. I am weak." - she said it best.

10:32 pm: Okay, I'll stay awake for John Legend and Common. There was a lot of gospel influence tonight, right?

10:40 pm: Um, I guess that's all? Solid ending.

SB49: Winners and Losers

There were some clear winners and losers last night--and I'm not just talking about the football teams. Shall we break it down? We shall.

Winners:

Celebrities. So many celebrities starred in commercials this year. More than usual, I'd say. And they basically all won--they made fun of themselves, they sold the product, and they entertained.

• Lindsey Lohan and "Walter White/Sorta Greg" for Esurance. Funny, appropriate, memorable.
• Amy Purdy for Camry. She's just an amazing person.
• Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel for BMW. great use of history to make a point.
• Pierce Brosnan for Kia. Once 007, always 007.
• The Brady Bunch, Danny Trejo, and Steve Buscemi for Snickers. Again, funny, appropriate, and memorable.
• Kim Kardashian, Chelsea Handler, and Sarah Silverman for T-Mobile. Fit them, fit the company, fit the audience.
• Mindy Kaling and Matt Damon for Nationwide. I mean, c'mon.
• Brett Favre & others for Wix.com. I always love when Favre comes out of retirement.

Movie Trailers. I think I speak for all of us when I say we have some great movie viewing ahead of us: Tomorrowland, Pitch Perfect 2, Furious 7, Jurassic World, Minions, Terminator, and Ted 2 gave us even more winners.

• George Cooney!
• The Packers! (Maybe they didn't make it to the Super Bowl, but they were there in spirit)
• Extreme Car Maneuvers!
• Dinosaurs!
• Minions!
• Arnold!
• Tom Brady? His cameo in the Ted 2 trailer was my favorite thing he did last night.

The Earth/America/Land/Sea. There were a lot of nature-themed ads, all reminding us of the planet/country we share. Maybe not the funniest, but it's always nice when a company uses a platform for good.

Speaking of using a platform for good...girls. We run the world. And doing things #likeagirl is neither good nor bad, just how we do things. Thanks, Always.

Avocados. They'd be my first draft pick, too.

Dancing Sharks/Giant Felines. They, along with Missy Elliott, clearly stole the halftime show.

Losers:

Kids. Yes, there's something to be said for using a platform for good. But is morbidity and shock the way to do it? I can't imagine how awful that commercial was to watch for parents who have lost children to accidents.

Toenail fungus. This ad was just as annoying as the Mucinex ones we get the rest of the year.

Beer and Doritos. Remember when these commercials were funny? Huh, me neither now that I think of it.

Dads (and men in general). A lot of commercials came strong with the daddy issues, and none of them showed dads in a great light and/or were confusing. Dudes also got dumped on in Fiat's Viagra commercial.

The Seattle Seahawks. Yeah, they lost this game big time.

I know I didn't see all the commercials--which ones did I miss? Any other highs or lows?

Sunday Night Survey: East v West Edition

I'm throwing my loyalties to the west tonight--even though I'd rather the Packers be repping the NFC, I'd also rather know they got beat by winners. Besides, the Seahawks have rad uniforms. And they're not the Patriots. Check back this week for my thoughts on tonight's commercials. Until then, here's how my night (and my weekend) went.

Cleaning: for the first time in a long time...I can see my bedroom floor again!
Thanking: Brooke for going grocery shopping before today's storm hit.
Finishing: The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness. It's the final book in the All Souls Trilogy and I think my favorite installment of the series.
Practicing: a new recipe that just might become a staple in my life.
Snuggling: in piles of blankets on the couch.
Watching: my neighbors shovel themselves out of their parking spots.
Appreciating: the Seahawks's intro song, "Bittersweet Symphony."
Paying: minimal attention to the actual game.
Saving: my attention for the commercials, which haven't disappointed (good or bad).
Playing: Katy Perry Bingo during her Halftime Show. Winning spaces: Fireworks, A Girl on Fire dress from "Hunger Games," and Entirely Black Wardrobe.
Making: build-your-own tacos for dinner.
Eating: enough tacos and chips and guac to keep me warm all night.
Crossing: my fingers for a snow day tomorrow...(I think it worked!)

Go Hawks, Stay Warm, & Happy February!

Sunday Night Survey: Golden Globes Edition

Instead of reviewing my weekend (which, let's face it, was mostly football, couch time, and eating), I'm going to use this Sunday night to live-view & discuss the Golden Globes. This activity is also known as live-blogging. ! Yes, it's that time of year again. I'll see you all back here at about 7 PM, Central Time. Until then, go Colts!

6:56 pm: Red Carpet & Pre-Show Extras

I hope you're all ready for this! I am. I'm all football happy and just finished eating, so I'm really ready to watch celebrities for the next few hours. I've been sneaking peaks at the red carpet pre-show and I have to say, low cut dresses seem to be in this year. Dresses With Pockets count: 3 (Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Emma Stone).

7:00 pm: Amy and Tina's last year as hosts begins...

The best part of that opener was the part where Tina and Amy roasted Hollywood's values by announcing everything Amal Alamuddin-Clooney has done recently...and then reminded us it's George who's getting a lifetime achievement award tonight.

7:12 pm: To be honest I wasn't really paying attention to the first awards.

"Those are the 50 Shades of Gray actors? Wow do I never want to watch them have sex ever." --Jesus, about Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan

Did you all see the promo for Sisters earlier? I kind of don't even care what the movie is about...I just want to see it.

7:22 pm: Paying attention now. :)

Yay for Fargo! Not that I've watched, but the movie was awesome.

J. Lo: "I got the nails."
Jeremy Renner: "You got the globes, too."

"Yes, you stand there and you say thank you." --J. Lo, to Billy Bob Thornton

7:32 pm: Free speech, heroes, human rights

I love how willing actors are to do silly things. I love it more when actors are unwilling to stop talking when it's their right to speak.

Nice hustle to the stage, Gina Rodriguez! That was a heartfelt speech, but at the same time a lot of feelings for an acting award.

"To love." --Transparent creator Jill Soloway (PS, I like the suit--while it's not a Dress With Pockets, I'm always a fan of women getting pockets wherever they can.)

7:44 pm: Music

I wonder how many Johann Johannssons are in Johann Johannsson's family line.

How fitting that Prince is presenting this award. John Legend is great, I don't deny it. But if you guys are on Instagram and you aren't following his wife, Chrissy Teigen, you're messing up. She is hilarious.

7:58 pm: Intense eyes, drunk eyes, Big Eyes

Matt Bomer, your eyes are intense.

Ricky Gervais, there's a man after my own heart (both for the wine on the stage and for telling us how it really is...famous people are just better than us ordinaries).

"To say that I am ill-prepared for this moment is a huge understatement..." --Amy Adams. To say that sentence without stuttering just proves to all of us at home that you were very prepared to say at least that.

8:12 pm: Animation and Boyhood

Animated Film: what a solid category. How to Train Your Dragon 2 is the only one I haven't and also don't want to see, so that's a little disappointing.

I think Patricia Arquette deserved that award for the basic fact that Boyhood took 12 years to film. That's a lot of time to stay committed to a project.

8:25 pm: Comedy and funny ladies (and men too I guess)

Finally, Tina and Amy are back. And Kristen and Bill!

Best Screenplay: Birdman and all the hard names to pronounce.

I loved Jeffrey Tambor in Arrested Development. Maybe I should check out Transparent. I also think it's cool that this award (Best Actor in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy) went to a man who plays a transgender woman. So yes, we have come pretty far.

8:43 pm: All about the ladies

"They're really pushing the whole 'Women are great' thing this year, aren't they?" --Jesus (not without reason!)

8:52 pm: Awards, awards, awards

With this outfit change, we have one more lady with pockets (Tina Fey again).

I wanted Kevin Spacey to do his whole thank you speech as Frank Underwood. Alas, I'll have to wait until Season 3 to get my F.U. fix.

9:06 pm: George Clooney

George Clooney, everyone.

9:21 pm: Are the commercials getting longer and longer or is it just me?

Chris Pratt and Anna Farris are my favorite Hollywood power couple, followed by John Krasinski and Emily Blunt.

9:32 pm: Keaton and Winfrey

"There are always so many people to thank" --Michael Keaton

9:43 pm: Foxcatcher and Budapest

I don't think Steve Carrell has smiled all night.

I have seen exactly zero of the nominees for Best Picture, Comedy or Musical. My movie game has tanked recently.

9:50 pm: Best Actor 

Oh really, we're running long? I hadn't noticed. You'd think after 72 years the powers that be would have awards shows figured out. Making an easier way for winners to get to the stage might help.

10:00 pm: Home Stretch!

I've also not seen any of the nominees for Best Picture, Drama. But I guessed Boyhood would win.

Show over! Goodbye Amy and Tina. :(

The Emmys & Etc.

Did you watch The Emmys tonight? I'm guessing you noticed I didn't live blog them. (Or you don't care, but then why are you reading this? Of course you care.) Not only were they on a Monday (for the first time since 1976), but I'm still here at work (putting in overtime before vacation, remember?). That doesn't mean I didn't watch--because you can bet M and I spent our night ogling dresses and guessing category winners. (Okay. I ogled and guessed. M somehow split his attention between three screens.)

If I had live blogged, the night's commentary could be summed up with: I love TV.

But that's not what I want to write about tonight. Tonight, I want to first apologize to anyone who got a weird email from me today. Weird as in unsolicited and containing a strange link. I was hacked--that's spam, my friends.

Wait, that's not what I want to write about either.

This is what I want to say:

I can't complain about the weather because the weather happens to everyone.

(Read into that how you will.)

The End.

The Leftovers: TV Adaptation Review

A year ago, I read a strange/interesting book called The Leftovers. Earlier this month, I started watching HBO's television adaptation of the book. My initial review: I'm impressed and hooked.

Is it different? Yes, of course. I love when movie/TV versions of books stray from the original--a different medium deserves a different telling. Besides, I don't have the best memory, so no matter what the TV show does, most of it is new (again) to me. I liked watching and remembering things just before or as they happened. I'm glad I can visualize the town and people of Mapleton, the inner workings of the Guilty Remnant (especially Lorrie and Meg, who we see a lot more of), and Tom's journey out west.

Other than all the little details, this show explores large, dark themes. What/who is good? Where do we go when we die--or disappear? The characters battle with these questions while I as the viewer stay perched on the edge of my seat, hoping they find the answers.

A Game of Thrones

A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I read this in tandem with watching season one of HBO's adaptation. I have to say, I'm now on season three and haven't picked up either A Clash of Kings or A Storm of Swords. I enjoy watching it, whereas I never totally got into the book. Sure, some character POVs were engaging and I relished those chapters, but as a whole, I'm not as impressed as I feel like I should have been.


View all my reviews

Oscars 2014

We've arrived at the end of the 2014 Awards Season. As always, my only qualifications for live-blogging the Oscars are my TV, my blog, and my snarky opinions. Join me at 7:30 for the madness!

11:02: Good Night!

Thanks, readers.

10:41: Best Actress, Best Actor, Best Movie

Daniel Day Lewis: seems like a cool guy.

Cate Blanchett (Best Actress, Blue Jasmine): really surprised by this one, considering her competition and all. Another ice skating dress?

Jennifer Lawrence: already fell once tonight, over a traffic cone.

Matthew McConaughey (Best Actor, Dallas Buyers Club): ooh, burned again, Leo. As a first time nominee, he said he wants to breathe the whole experience in. Good advice for our daily lives. Alright, alright, alright indeed.

Will Smith: has he been working out?

Best Picture: 12 Years a Slave. So Gravity can have all its other awards, 12 Years walks away with the big one.

10:31: Directing

Angelina Jolie: her dress could be worn for ice skating.
Sidney Poitier: checking twitter again, apologies Sir.

Alfonso Cuaron (Best Director, Gravity): I don't know if I can get behind this choice.

10:22: Writing

Robert DeNiro: "The mind of a writer can be a truly terrifying thing" --don't I know that. ;)
Penelope Cruz: Sorry I'm not quite paying attention...checking out what twitter had to say about what just happened. I'm sure she's gorgeous. Wait. Why is her dress wrapped around her arm?

John Ridley (Best Adapted Screenplay, 12 Years a Slave): cheers to the writers.

Spike Jonze (Best Original Screenplay, Her): what do I know this guy from? Probably a Kanye West video.

10:04: Nominees, Winners

Another costume change, and Ellen still looks great. Like a fancy punk rocker.

Goldie Hawn: wow, she looks like her daughter (or vice versa). I wonder how heavy those "sleeves" are.

John Travolta: Jesus and I just watched Grease. He was better there than he is tonight. He just butchered Idina's name.

Idina Menzel: Here's what we've been waiting for all night, right? This seems fast. Like she is singing too fast for the music? But still with a great voice. Except maybe that last note? Okay, not sure how I feel. Weird. I feel weird.

Jamie Foxx: I saw him earlier with his daughter. It was touching to see him in that, his actual role. He was all concerned about her showing leg on the red carpet. And now we see his comedic chops.
Jessica Biel: can handle her own with Jamie.

Steven Price (Best Original Score, Gravity): this movie. I really didn't think it would win so much.

Best Original Song: "Let it Go", Frozen. Oh. After that performance, I don't know. I think U2 topped them. This speech though. Tears.

9:53: In Memoriam

I like that--"most of all, we thank you"--to those in show business who died this year, all we can do is be grateful for the talent they gave to the world.

Bette Midler: not what I expected to come after that. Was a little cheesy for my tastes. A LOT cheesy, if I'm being honest.

9:42: Production Design and more Heroes

Jennifer Garner: oooh, another flapper-inspired dress?
Benedict Cumberbatch: I don't understand the obsession people have with him.

Production Design: The Great Gatsby. Should I see that movie? I don't know, I always though Robert Redford and Mia Farrow did such a good job. Don't want to ruin that memory of high school English class.

Chris Evans: aka, Captain America. Ask my boyfriend about the time he translated that movie for his mom and she fell in love with it. :)

9:21: Gravity wins some more!

Pizza's here! I wonder who that guy is. Clearly the popular kids are all seated right down in front...sorry everyone else.

Madam President: dressed like the mother of the bride (yes, that's a compliment).

Amy Adams: lovely dress, lovely hair.
Bill Murray: oof, he is looking his age. He needs to let go of his not so lovely hair.

Best Cinematography: Gravity. Man, those behind the scenes guys are scoring big tonight.

Anna Kendrick: always with bold language.
Gabourey Sidibe: always in bold colors.

Film Editing: Gravity. Okay, we get it, Academy, you like space.

Whoopi Goldberg: nice beads, lady! She looks like a pirate/flapper hybrid. Plus Dorothy.

Pink: remember how she did aerial acrobatics at the Grammys? Even land-bound, she's a great performer.

9:00: Sound, Supporting Actress

Michael B. Jordan: hey! Not a bow tie! Cool stars.
Kristen Bell: channeling her Frozen character with that icy dress.

Chris Hemsworth: I'm getting a James Bond vibe from this guy.
Charlize Theron: interesting straps. More interesting flub.

Sound Mixing: Gravity. Hmmm...but there is no sound in space?

Sound Editing: Gravity. Again. No sound in space, and also how is editing different than mixing?

Christoph Waltz: oh gosh, he is so cute. The accent, the glasses, the sparkle in his eye.

Lupita Nyong'o (Best Supporting Actress, 12 Years a Slave): Okay. I love that dress, please don't misunderstand me. I just want to tug those straps up because a wardrobe malfunction looks inevitable. Her headband, her ear cuffs, though--flawless--along with her face. Beautiful. And her speech. Touching.

8:48: Foreign Movie, Foreign Band

Ewan McGregor: hair not as pretty as Jared Leto's, pants far to skinny for his age and build.
Viola Davis: LOVE that color. Deep turquoise. Great on almost any skin tone.

Foreign Language Film: The Great Beauty. Go Italy! Such a musical accent.

Tyler Perry: changing it up with a white bow tie.

Ellen now looks like my dad on his wedding day. Still adorable.

Brad Pitt: I prefer his voice to his face, but I get the attraction.

U2: "Ordinary Love"--I like this stripped down version of the song. These guys just proved why they are the biggest. No gimmicks, just music.

8:30: Shorts, Documentaries, Short Documentaries, more Heroes

Kate Hudson: knows how to rock a deep plunge.
Jason Sudeikis: dapper dapper dapper. So many bow ties tonight.

Best Live Action Short: Helium.

Best Documentary Short: The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life. Where does one watch a short? I've not heard of any of these.

Bradley Cooper: Bow tie and a gleam in his eye.

Best Documentary Feature: 20 Feet From Stardom. A film about back-up singers, I believe. And I am so glad they didn't just play one of the "stars" of the movie off. Whew, that would've been awkward.

Kevin Spacey: I've heard nothing but good things about House of Cards. I guess that's next after I finish Breaking Bad?

8:12: Animation, Heroes, Visuals

Best Animated Short: Mr. Hublot "I have to take a paper." Merci indeed.

Best Animated Feature: Frozen. I think we all saw that one coming.

Sally Field: black vines on a sheer black dress. Appropriate cut, wish there was some color.

Emma Watson: very pretty. I would wear that dress. And that makeup. And that hair.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: very pretty. Very funny. I would present an award at the Oscars with him.

Best Visual Effects: Gravity. I would hope a movie in space has some good effects.

Zac Efron: oh how far you've come since High School Musical...but not really.

Karen O: sincere. That performance wasn't perfect, and that made it better.

7:56: Costumes, Makeup, Hair, Team Oscar

Naomi Watts: simple, safe dress.
Samuel L. Jackson: needs bigger glasses for his head size.

Catherine Martin (Costume Design, The Great Gatsby): great dress. The coral color looks good with the embellishments.

Adruitha Lee, Robin Matthews (Makeup and Hair, Dallas Buyers Club): both have a lot of hair.

Harrison Ford: another bow tie. This time with a small stud earring.

Channing Tatum: slow down! Sounds like he doesn't like reading out loud.

7:30: Ellen! And Others.

Look at Ellen's wonderful floppy bow tie and sparkly suit jacket! She looks like a chic newsie.

"Heroes in Hollywood" ...okay...I guess I'll take it. Movies are important. Well, stories are important.

Ellen's monologue is why she's a great talk show host. She know just how to make fun of people without making them feel bad.

Anne Hathaway: wearing sparkly body armor?

Jared Leto (Best Supporting Actor, Dallas Buyers Club): absolutely the prettiest one at the Oscars. He gets his gorgeous hair from his gorgeous mother. Not many people (women) can pull off the long and gray, but she does it elegantly. Back to Jared: the over-sized bow tie, the sparkly shirt buttons...and those eyes. He is like Jesus (from Nazareth, not my boyfriend)...I just don't want him to blink! Not to take away from his eloquent acceptance speech, but that man is beautiful.

Jim Carrey: looks good in shiny blue. Also, for his age.

Kerry Washington: glowing. Beach wave hair, dark lips, and a stunning purple dress. Love the slit.

Pharrell: another beautiful man. I see he hasn't changed his from his Grammy outfit. Sparkly shoes are a nice touch. They've been playing "Happy" on the radio for a few weeks now, and it got me through the end of February and into March. I love when it comes on when I'm in the car.

Super (American) Bowl

For those of you who didn't tune in to football last night, don't worry: you didn't miss anything. If you didn't see the halftime show, well, that's okay too. Bruno Mars didn't disappoint, but I'm sure you can YouTube his performance with Red Hot Chili Peppers. My favorite part was his drum solo. And the commercials? You'll be seeing most of them for the rest of the year, so fear not. Oh, and I'm about to review them.

The Good. Overall, it felt like the advertisers were like "Hey, guys, this years theme is 'America,'" as if we need someone to sell our own country to us (let's be honest, I do sometimes feel that way)--and if so, well, they succeeded. I'm so ready for the Olympics now. USA! USA!

Coke. "It's Beautiful" : I hope Coke doesn't apologize for this ad AT ALL. They had to have known it would spark some ignorant comments from ignorant people, but that didn't stop them from making a sweet commercial featuring "America the Beautiful" sung in multiple languages over shots of all sorts of people just being American.

Honorable mention goes to their other commercial, "Going All the Way," which features an adorable kid running through Ashwaubenon to get to Lambeau Field after his coach tells him to "keep going," when he miraculously ends up with the football during his game.




Cheerios. "Gracie" : Another company that shouldn't apologize, despite viewer criticisms. And by viewers, I mean more ignorant people. This commercial continues the story of the interracial family from a commercial they aired last year; now "Gracie" is getting a little brother. Yay! Does this ad have anything to do with Cheerios themselves? Only as counters for family members, but very few commercials actually advertise the product they are advertising, so if this is your reason for discrediting the Cheerios family, that's weak.




Intuit. "GoldieBlox" : This ad was technically for Intuit, but featured toy-maker GoldieBlox, who tells us girls can (and should) be engineers, too. Not only that, but girls' toys don't have to be pink. Like the founder says in her contest entry video: "We don't have a national shortage of princesses; we do have a national shortage of engineers." What an awesome toy, and awesome for GoldieBlox to have this kind of exposure!




The Bad. There weren't any commercials that I felt failed the Super Bowl, but a few could be improved.

Volkswagon. "Wings" : Speaking of a lack of women in engineering, here is Exhibit A. Why is there an overwhelming amount of male engineers in this commercial, and why is the only featured female used as a sexual object?



Doritos. "Cowboy Kid" : Basic summary, mom pulls up in her car with groceries. "Boys, can I get some help?" Boy 1: "I don't know, can you?" STOP RIGHT THERE. If that was my kid, I would have sat down and eaten all those Doritos while he unloaded the groceries AND made dinner. Commercial not worth posting and I'm too angry to find it on YouTube anyway.

A Smattering of Car Commercials Featuring Celebrities Who Have Either Sold Out or Really Need a Job: I don't think I'll ever enjoy a car commercial...sorry America, I'm just not the market. Same goes for beer, especially beer/puppies/military.

The Confusing. Some commercials I just didn't get. Or I got, but didn't want to.

Axe. "Make Love, Not War" : My initial reaction to Axe's more social-minded commercial was positive. Yes, give peace a chance--they even partnered with Peace One Day, a nonprofit working to establish a global day of ceasefire. Still, this isn't Axe's normal angle. Usually they are trying to tell us how sexy Axe body spray will make you, at least smell-wise. I applaud this new direction while recognizing it probably isn't a permanent direction.




Dannon Oikos. "The Spill" : Not exactly the Full House reunion I wanted, though probably the one we deserve. I also just have a weird prejudice against yogurt commercials. When did yogurt become lady food? Why does it have to be sexy? Funny, but I'm not convinced I want to switch yogurt brands.




Butterfinger. "Cup Therapy" : Not for the overly conservative, this was probably one of the most risque ads of the night, if you really thought about it. What I got from it: when your relationship is shaky, try a threesome/swinging...but don't take it too far, aka no gay/bi stuff. I would've put it in with The Bad, but it just wasn't strong enough to illicit any other feelings besides confusion and slight groaning.



Did I miss any big ones? I'm happy that advertisers kept it (mostly) clean this year, and focused on positive images and messages. While it would have been nice to have a few more laughs, the Super Bowl itself was pretty funny. Now, bring on the Olympics!

Grammys 2014

The Grammys are on tonight - 7 pm, my time. Because they are music awards, I'm more excited for the performances than for the actual awards (we only see a fraction of them being awarded anyways). I know a lot of people are unimpressed or downright confused by the seemingly random collaborations, but I'm game for nearly any mash-up of voices and songs. Why not?

If you're watching tonight, I'd love it if you joined me here as well. I'll be spouting off my thoughts and opinions on the performances, outfits, and even the winners (and losers). Until then, stay warm!

10:45 - Good Night!

Thanks for joining me for this award show that only presented, what...four, five awards? CPS cancelled school tomorrow, but as of now I'm still working. Off to bed!

10:35 - Album of the Year/End of Show

Album of the Year: Random Access Memories, Daft Punk. I think Taylor Swift looked genuinely shocked that she didn't win. This album wasn't even Daft Punk's best stuff, so it is surprising that they won in a tough category.

NIN/QOTSA/Lindsay Buckingham in a performance I don't quite understand, but still don't mind? It's too bad they have to be played over by the credits.

10:20 - In Memoriam and Miranda Lambert/Billy Joe Armstrong

Check out that glitzy piano. I wanted Lang Lang to play the entire In Memoriam.

Somehow both Miranda and Billy Joe's voices lend well to the Everlys.

10:05 - "Same Love" and 33 Weddings

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis with Mary Lambert singing a great song with a great message, if you discount all the times where Macklemore has to reassure us that he, himself, is not gay. I appreciate Mary Lambert's appearance, not only because she is gay, but because she is from Seattle, like Macklemore.

I wonder what the actual weddings of these couples will be like? Or how many of them were already married? Or how many won't have any other ceremony besides the Grammys?

Wow. Madonna is not doing herself any favors with that cane. She already looks like she rose from the grave to sing this song. And Mary sounds so much better than her.

9:49 - Metallica/Lang Lang and Daft Punk again

Here's another collaboration I might use as a bathroom break. I like the fire.

Steven Tyler, what a lovable old lady man.

Record of the Year: (not to be confused with Song of the Year, which is the actual song part) "Get Lucky" for what really is a great recording--music, lyrics, digital effects.

9:36 - Carole King/Sarah Bareilles and more Lorde

Here's hoping this version of "Brave" is better than the People's Choice Awards....yep. So far it is. I mean, Carole King helps A LOT.

Song of the Year: "Royals," Lorde. I'm glad it went to her. She could use some help with that posture, but congrats nonetheless.

9:15 - Country music and Daft Punk/Pharrell/Nile Rodgers/Stevie Wonder

Jeremy Renner looks like a smudgy pencil eraser.

Note: not watching this part. More country. Can't do it.

Awww, look at Taylor making sure to be the first clapping/standing up for Kacey. Can we rename The Grammys to The Taylors?

Pharrell, is that a different hat? He's still adorable. He looks totally psyched to be performing.

Wow, Steven Tyler dancing in the audience.

9 - The Beatles and Bruno Mars

Julia Roberts: your legs look good, but you don't look comfortable walking in those heels.

Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr: always legendary, but do The Beatles need acknowledgement every year? I'm a little bored, and it looks like the audience is too.

Gloria Estefan looks great. Beautiful dress.

Best Pop Vocal Album: Unorthodox Jukebox, Bruno Mars. Ummm...I guess he's okay. He's performing at the Super Bowl, he's easy to listen to, his songs are ALWAYS on the radio...that's all I got.

8:45 - Imagine Dragons/Kendrick Lamar and Kacey Musgraves

I love the weird collaborations. And Taylor, I'm back to hating you (just for this song, probably)...white girl to white girl, please stop. A music critic just referred to Imagine Dragons as an "edgier Coldplay." Maybe? I'll go with it. The camera feels a little trippy, but I like the jam session feel.

Kacey Musgraves has lights on her boots, so I can't take this performance seriously. I would probably like "Follow Your Arrow" if it wasn't so country/if someone else sang it.

8:30 - Ringo Starr and Jay-Z

Sorry, I missed the first part of Ringo Starr...I switched over to ABC to see Catherine walk up the aisle in The Bachelor's Live Wedding. Just note, these shows have both been on for 1.5 hours. We've seen three awards and the bride is only just walking up the aisle. Filler much?

Best Rap Collaboration: "Holy Grail," Jay-Z featuring Justin Timberlake...another rad tux. "Daddy got a gold sippy cup for you." Haha.

8:15 - Pink/Nate Ruess and Lorde again

Alright, I can get behind this. Is Pink really singing and doing acrobatics? She's got to be real fit for that. And not afraid of heights or susceptible to vertigo or anything. This is competition-level choreographed contemporary dance. She is definitely breathing heavily. Real stuff. ...and now onto the song I like better, but I can't enjoy it because Nate Ruess's entire look is creeping me out. My my, that mustache. Pink's vocals are ON POINT. She must do cardio.

Best Pop Solo Performance: (featuring youtube covers for the nominee packages) - Lorde, "Royals." She looks very tall and awkward, like most 17-year old girls. So, at least that was an age-appropriate acceptance speech (despite her very mature songs).

8 - John Legend and Taylor Swift

This camera work is weird. I'm really distracted by whoever the the spotlight is shining on as we pan back and forth. Unfortunate, because this John Legend song is super sweet. It deserves this standing ovation!

Kevin Hart's tux is awesome. Gold weave. So Classy.

Best Rock Song: Dave Grohl, Paul McCartney, etc, etc...remember when Dave Grohl was in Chicago recently and apparently it was a big deal? Man he barely let Paul talk.

I can never decide if I love or hate Taylor Swift. Right now it's love. Not this song, necessarily, but her aura.  Great dress, I love the hair (my hair)...and the drop! Okay, the initial part was a little exorcist-y, but I'm not about to judge a performer for performing. No one really looks awesome rocking out on the piano.

7:45 - Robin Thicke/Chicago and Keith Urban/Gary Clark, Jr.

Robin Thicke is a talented singer. It's too bad his reputation will hang on "Blurred Lines," a song I think was blown out of proportion (proportions not helped by its distasteful music video). Chicago is a very different collaborator than Miley Cyrus was at the VMAs, that's for sure.

I'll take a million Robin Thicke/Chicago mash-ups over anything country, but the guitar solos/duets are okay with me.

Can I just say I have Taylor's hair cut?

7:25 - HH/Katy Perry

Four words in and I'm already over this Hunter Hayes song.

Pop Duo/Group Performance: "Get Lucky," possibly one of the few summer hits I didn't get sick of. Pharrell is a great singer (he was the best part of "Blurred Lines," by far). Daft Punk are just great musicians in general (also that could be anyone under those helmets). I don't know much about Nile Rodgers, but I really enjoyed him in the music video!

Katy Perry and Juicy J--I really like this song. I think it would make a great wedding song, only sort of kidding. "once you're mine, there's no going back"--right?

7 pm - Show Opener/Keeping Expectations Low

Ahhh, already The Grammys are controversial. This is why it's such a low-rated awards show, compared to other awards shows. People weren't happy with the nominees, and they definitely aren't happy with the winners (so far). In reality there are only a few awards left to hand out, and I'm mostly here for the performances--starting with this show opener: Beyonce.

It's nice that she gets to start us off, especially considering her surprise album came out too late for Grammy consideration. I like the idea of this song: first she was "Crazy in Love," now she's "Drunk in Love." I love Jay-Z joining her onstage, because that's awesome for them. I'm not in love with this song. To be honest, I haven't really gotten into any of the songs on this album. I would apologize, but I'm sure Beyonce is fine.

I would love a performance by Anna Kendrick. Or just some stand up.

Best New Artist: I wonder what defines an artist as "new" because, some of these guys are newer than others. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis: not exactly new. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy these guys. I don't believe they are the "Best" or "New" Artists.

Lorde: Here's a lady who should've A) been nominated for Best New Artist and B) won. I LOVE that she is wearing clothes.