Oscars 2014

We've arrived at the end of the 2014 Awards Season. As always, my only qualifications for live-blogging the Oscars are my TV, my blog, and my snarky opinions. Join me at 7:30 for the madness!

11:02: Good Night!

Thanks, readers.

10:41: Best Actress, Best Actor, Best Movie

Daniel Day Lewis: seems like a cool guy.

Cate Blanchett (Best Actress, Blue Jasmine): really surprised by this one, considering her competition and all. Another ice skating dress?

Jennifer Lawrence: already fell once tonight, over a traffic cone.

Matthew McConaughey (Best Actor, Dallas Buyers Club): ooh, burned again, Leo. As a first time nominee, he said he wants to breathe the whole experience in. Good advice for our daily lives. Alright, alright, alright indeed.

Will Smith: has he been working out?

Best Picture: 12 Years a Slave. So Gravity can have all its other awards, 12 Years walks away with the big one.

10:31: Directing

Angelina Jolie: her dress could be worn for ice skating.
Sidney Poitier: checking twitter again, apologies Sir.

Alfonso Cuaron (Best Director, Gravity): I don't know if I can get behind this choice.

10:22: Writing

Robert DeNiro: "The mind of a writer can be a truly terrifying thing" --don't I know that. ;)
Penelope Cruz: Sorry I'm not quite paying attention...checking out what twitter had to say about what just happened. I'm sure she's gorgeous. Wait. Why is her dress wrapped around her arm?

John Ridley (Best Adapted Screenplay, 12 Years a Slave): cheers to the writers.

Spike Jonze (Best Original Screenplay, Her): what do I know this guy from? Probably a Kanye West video.

10:04: Nominees, Winners

Another costume change, and Ellen still looks great. Like a fancy punk rocker.

Goldie Hawn: wow, she looks like her daughter (or vice versa). I wonder how heavy those "sleeves" are.

John Travolta: Jesus and I just watched Grease. He was better there than he is tonight. He just butchered Idina's name.

Idina Menzel: Here's what we've been waiting for all night, right? This seems fast. Like she is singing too fast for the music? But still with a great voice. Except maybe that last note? Okay, not sure how I feel. Weird. I feel weird.

Jamie Foxx: I saw him earlier with his daughter. It was touching to see him in that, his actual role. He was all concerned about her showing leg on the red carpet. And now we see his comedic chops.
Jessica Biel: can handle her own with Jamie.

Steven Price (Best Original Score, Gravity): this movie. I really didn't think it would win so much.

Best Original Song: "Let it Go", Frozen. Oh. After that performance, I don't know. I think U2 topped them. This speech though. Tears.

9:53: In Memoriam

I like that--"most of all, we thank you"--to those in show business who died this year, all we can do is be grateful for the talent they gave to the world.

Bette Midler: not what I expected to come after that. Was a little cheesy for my tastes. A LOT cheesy, if I'm being honest.

9:42: Production Design and more Heroes

Jennifer Garner: oooh, another flapper-inspired dress?
Benedict Cumberbatch: I don't understand the obsession people have with him.

Production Design: The Great Gatsby. Should I see that movie? I don't know, I always though Robert Redford and Mia Farrow did such a good job. Don't want to ruin that memory of high school English class.

Chris Evans: aka, Captain America. Ask my boyfriend about the time he translated that movie for his mom and she fell in love with it. :)

9:21: Gravity wins some more!

Pizza's here! I wonder who that guy is. Clearly the popular kids are all seated right down in front...sorry everyone else.

Madam President: dressed like the mother of the bride (yes, that's a compliment).

Amy Adams: lovely dress, lovely hair.
Bill Murray: oof, he is looking his age. He needs to let go of his not so lovely hair.

Best Cinematography: Gravity. Man, those behind the scenes guys are scoring big tonight.

Anna Kendrick: always with bold language.
Gabourey Sidibe: always in bold colors.

Film Editing: Gravity. Okay, we get it, Academy, you like space.

Whoopi Goldberg: nice beads, lady! She looks like a pirate/flapper hybrid. Plus Dorothy.

Pink: remember how she did aerial acrobatics at the Grammys? Even land-bound, she's a great performer.

9:00: Sound, Supporting Actress

Michael B. Jordan: hey! Not a bow tie! Cool stars.
Kristen Bell: channeling her Frozen character with that icy dress.

Chris Hemsworth: I'm getting a James Bond vibe from this guy.
Charlize Theron: interesting straps. More interesting flub.

Sound Mixing: Gravity. Hmmm...but there is no sound in space?

Sound Editing: Gravity. Again. No sound in space, and also how is editing different than mixing?

Christoph Waltz: oh gosh, he is so cute. The accent, the glasses, the sparkle in his eye.

Lupita Nyong'o (Best Supporting Actress, 12 Years a Slave): Okay. I love that dress, please don't misunderstand me. I just want to tug those straps up because a wardrobe malfunction looks inevitable. Her headband, her ear cuffs, though--flawless--along with her face. Beautiful. And her speech. Touching.

8:48: Foreign Movie, Foreign Band

Ewan McGregor: hair not as pretty as Jared Leto's, pants far to skinny for his age and build.
Viola Davis: LOVE that color. Deep turquoise. Great on almost any skin tone.

Foreign Language Film: The Great Beauty. Go Italy! Such a musical accent.

Tyler Perry: changing it up with a white bow tie.

Ellen now looks like my dad on his wedding day. Still adorable.

Brad Pitt: I prefer his voice to his face, but I get the attraction.

U2: "Ordinary Love"--I like this stripped down version of the song. These guys just proved why they are the biggest. No gimmicks, just music.

8:30: Shorts, Documentaries, Short Documentaries, more Heroes

Kate Hudson: knows how to rock a deep plunge.
Jason Sudeikis: dapper dapper dapper. So many bow ties tonight.

Best Live Action Short: Helium.

Best Documentary Short: The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life. Where does one watch a short? I've not heard of any of these.

Bradley Cooper: Bow tie and a gleam in his eye.

Best Documentary Feature: 20 Feet From Stardom. A film about back-up singers, I believe. And I am so glad they didn't just play one of the "stars" of the movie off. Whew, that would've been awkward.

Kevin Spacey: I've heard nothing but good things about House of Cards. I guess that's next after I finish Breaking Bad?

8:12: Animation, Heroes, Visuals

Best Animated Short: Mr. Hublot "I have to take a paper." Merci indeed.

Best Animated Feature: Frozen. I think we all saw that one coming.

Sally Field: black vines on a sheer black dress. Appropriate cut, wish there was some color.

Emma Watson: very pretty. I would wear that dress. And that makeup. And that hair.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: very pretty. Very funny. I would present an award at the Oscars with him.

Best Visual Effects: Gravity. I would hope a movie in space has some good effects.

Zac Efron: oh how far you've come since High School Musical...but not really.

Karen O: sincere. That performance wasn't perfect, and that made it better.

7:56: Costumes, Makeup, Hair, Team Oscar

Naomi Watts: simple, safe dress.
Samuel L. Jackson: needs bigger glasses for his head size.

Catherine Martin (Costume Design, The Great Gatsby): great dress. The coral color looks good with the embellishments.

Adruitha Lee, Robin Matthews (Makeup and Hair, Dallas Buyers Club): both have a lot of hair.

Harrison Ford: another bow tie. This time with a small stud earring.

Channing Tatum: slow down! Sounds like he doesn't like reading out loud.

7:30: Ellen! And Others.

Look at Ellen's wonderful floppy bow tie and sparkly suit jacket! She looks like a chic newsie.

"Heroes in Hollywood" ...okay...I guess I'll take it. Movies are important. Well, stories are important.

Ellen's monologue is why she's a great talk show host. She know just how to make fun of people without making them feel bad.

Anne Hathaway: wearing sparkly body armor?

Jared Leto (Best Supporting Actor, Dallas Buyers Club): absolutely the prettiest one at the Oscars. He gets his gorgeous hair from his gorgeous mother. Not many people (women) can pull off the long and gray, but she does it elegantly. Back to Jared: the over-sized bow tie, the sparkly shirt buttons...and those eyes. He is like Jesus (from Nazareth, not my boyfriend)...I just don't want him to blink! Not to take away from his eloquent acceptance speech, but that man is beautiful.

Jim Carrey: looks good in shiny blue. Also, for his age.

Kerry Washington: glowing. Beach wave hair, dark lips, and a stunning purple dress. Love the slit.

Pharrell: another beautiful man. I see he hasn't changed his from his Grammy outfit. Sparkly shoes are a nice touch. They've been playing "Happy" on the radio for a few weeks now, and it got me through the end of February and into March. I love when it comes on when I'm in the car.