12.31.14

I won't be posting any end of the year wrap-ups or resolutions today. Instead, I'm gonna live in the last few moments of 2014 and take the time to enjoy them, without expectation or anticipation for what comes next.

My plan is to be back tomorrow with a more formal New Year's Day post and a few thoughts about what I want for my life in the next year, but we'll see how the day goes first. No promises.

Then, hopefully over the weekend, I want to go through my Happiness/Wholeness Jar (remember that?) and use that as a 2014 wrap-up. I have no idea what I'll find in there, what themes and patterns will emerge, or if the whole thing will end up being a little lame, but I finished it! And that's one of my bigger accomplishments of the year, so I'm gonna celebrate it.

What else...I hope everyone has a safe and fun NYE, surrounded by friends and lovers. Ciao, 2014!

The Week Between

Christmas was here and is now gone, without fanfare. Sure, lights and trees are still up, but I'm guessing we would feel a bit silly singing Christmas songs now. I don't even have snow here, so any festivity I did feel while in Wisconsin stayed there. All the fun happened up north; here in Chicago it's business as usual.

Except not really. School is still out and New Year's Eve plans are still being made. I'm not sure what the purpose of this week really is since "the holidays" aren't quite over, but we're not quite back to work mode yet.

Personally, I like to take this week to breath before the newness of January 1. Now is when I start looking back at the year, and forward to the next. I think about resolutions. I schedule my yearly doctor appointments. I pay off credit card bills filled with gift charges. I eat clean to make up for the pound of cheese consumed over Christmas break. I try my hardest to finish just one more book before the end of the year.

I guess there is a point to having this week. 2015, I'm not ready just yet. It's still December and I still have a few things to do.

Collaging as Therapy

I could write an essay about the joys and effects of collaging, but that would defeat the purpose of a collage. Instead, let me share Elizabeth Gilbert's thoughts on this relaxing practice:

I love collage. Collage is the gift that God gave to those of us who cannot draw. You can make a pretty thing without, you know, actually having the ability to make a pretty thing.
I make a lot of collages in my life. I do one before every new project, and another at the end of every project. I do one for every big move, and every new chapter in my life. I do them when I'm sad and can't figure out why, and when I'm so happy that my emotions spill over and it all needs to be Modge-Podged in order to feel real. 

These are not masterworks that I make. I don't need them to be GOOD. They are just a visual/emotional thumbprint of a moment in time. They always surprise me, and they always inform me. I keep them in a notebook that is something like a non-wordy diary. For somebody who is so verbal, it's restful for me to just play around with color and shape and image, and to see what that all has to teach me about where I am, and what I want. 

--Elizabeth Gilbert, on her Facebook Page

I'm so glad that one of my writerly heroes shares a love for this activity with me. I've been collaging since high school, when I would make them for end of semester projects. Now, I fill journal covers, corkboards, bowls, and boxes with images I pull from magazines. These items decorate my apartment and remind me of times I felt creative, or not creative at all. They serve as inspiration and meditation.

I know I'll be collaging into the new year. Maybe if you're lucky I'll share my creations on here. :)

Sunday Night Survey: Winter Solstice Edition

Quinn graduated today! The kiddos (Quinn, his roommate, Bailey, and her boyfriend) and I drove up to Madison from Chicago to attend the ceremony at the Kohl Center and eat ourselves silly after. It was a perfect little getaway weekend and distraction from holiday stresses. I'm back in Chicago (via bus and train) and I'm looking back at all the activities we did before I get settled in for the longest night of the year.

Getting: out of work early on Friday to kick off the weekend.
Watching: Now You See Me.
Riding: the train to O'Hare to pick up Bailey and Nico.
Making: a Yankee breakfast for them.
Meeting: up with siblings and old and current roommates for pizza and beer.
Staying: awake while everyone else took naps.

Staying: out of the cold and in my apartment.

Ordering: tacos. Because tacos.

Waking: up before dawn to make sure Quinn got seated before 10.

Staying: awake (again/mostly) during the ceremony.

Tearing: up just a tiny bit.

Feeling: proud of my baby brother for getting the degree he wants.

Eating: barbecue and melted chocolate on everything.

Drinking: a Godiva Cappuccino.

Hopping: on a bus to Chicago.

Smiling: because I'll be back in Madison on Tuesday.

Listening: to the final episode of Serial and wondering what to do with it.

Understanding: the sentiment in this blog post.

Doing: a final load of laundry before the holidays.

Prepping: for one day of work this week.

Baking: my fourth loaf of this pumpkin bread (minus currants, plus chocolate chips).

Cooked

Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation by Michael Pollan
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

First thoughts: Another solid food book by Michael Pollan, though this one didn't hold my interest as much as his previous books. I liked how he split it into sections (Fire, Water, Air, Earth), but found that if I wasn't interested in the exact thing he was cooking, I started to skim.

Where I read: in between making chicken noodle soup (from a whole chicken), pumpkin bread, and lots of fall salads.

Recommended for: cookers, bakers, brewers, grillers, eaters, humans.

Favorite quotes (and basically my thoughts about cooking):
"...most cooking manages to be agreeably absorbing without being too demanding intellectually. It leaves plenty of mental space for daydreaming and reflection." -p19

"In a world where so few of us are obliged to cook at all anymore, to choose to do so is to lodge a protest against specialization--against the total rationalization of life. Against the infiltration of commercial interests into every last cranny of our lives." -p22

"To cook for the pleasure of it, to devote a portion of our leisure to it, is to declare our independence from the corporations seeking to organize our every waking moment into yet another occasion for consumption." -p22

"...the not-cook option means that people can also, for the first time, choose to cook purely for the pleasure of doing it." -p130-131

"The more time a nation devotes to food preparation at home, the lower its rate of obesity." -p192

"You want Americans to eat less? I have the diet for you. Cook it yourself. Eat anything you want--just as long as you're willing to cook it yourself." --Harry Balzer, p193

"After a week in front of the screen, the opportunity to work with my hands--with all my senses, in fact--is always a welcome change of pace." -p195

"It seems to me that one of the great luxuries of life at this point is to be able to do one thing at a time, one thing to which you give yourself wholeheartedly. Unitasking." -p195

FIRE: barbecue pork. Interesting, but not something I'll ever make.
WATER: stews, braises, and soups. All me right here--these are the recipes I can make with my eyes closed.
AIR: bread. Makes me want to try my hand at bread baking.
EARTH: ferments, pickles, alcohols. These are the foods of my people, but again, not something I think I'll ever make.

Final thoughts: Cooked raised my curiosity for the history of the way foods are made. It makes me proud to be a cooker/comfortable in the kitchen.


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Chef

After barely finishing Cooked (it got a little bland at the end, but my review will still be mostly positive--come back tomorrow to read), Chef was a great movie to get me excited about food again. It doesn't take much to do that, but I appreciated Chef's understated humor and focus on the kitchen. The literary side of me also enjoyed the outside-the-kitchen parallels drawn between following orders vs following your heart.

Carl Casper, the titular chef (played by Jon Favreau, who also directs), just wants to do what he does: make good food. But not just good--edgy and new and fun too. His boss, owner of the restaurant where Casper works (Dustin Hoffman), just wants the (tired) food that sells. Add to that the pressures of a celebrity food blogger (Oliver Platt), and Chef Casper is out--he quits. He pretty quickly realizes what his next step should be, and with help from his ex-wife/current friend (Sofia Vergara), best friend (John Leguizamo), and son (a perfectly sweet Emjay Anthony), he sets out to be boss of his own kitchen--on a food truck.

Simply put, this was the perfect movie to watch yesterday. It's fun and funny, without being campy, cringy, or contrived. It's a light-hearted and food-filled journey that I'm glad I went on after a stress-filled day.

December Birds

I'm not the only one who thinks things are little off these days, am I? I heard birds singing while I biked to work yesterday. Birds, singing away on December 16 like it was the most normal thing to do. That (plus the mostly green grass) has made me forget more than once that Christmas is next week. And 2015 is just a week after that.

It's hard for a Wisconsin girl to be festive without snow, plus we decided not to put up a tree in our apartment this year, so I'm holding off on Christmas spirit until I get to my parents' house. Besides, I have other activities to celebrate before then: welcoming Bailey and her boyfriend to Chicago/North America and congratulating Quinn on his college graduation. And let's be honest, I'll be totally fine if snow doesn't fall in Chicago at all this winter. No snow = no public transportation = saving $20/week.

The new year, though, that I don't know when I'll be ready for. On one hand, I'm very excited to see 2014 go. It wasn't my best year. It wasn't America's best year. Still, I'm not sure I want a whole new year to start quite yet--I have a few things left to do.

First, I want to enjoy December (birds and all).

The Interestings

The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

First thoughts: Man, I just love Meg Wolitzer. I think if this was the first book I'd read of hers, I'd be a little hesitant to like it as much as I do, but her characters are just awesome. And they're always so different. Where does she have space for all these personalities inside her head?

Where/when I read: Thanksgiving break.

Favorite quotes:
"Despite my wisdom by now, I am small-minded and predictable." -Jules

"I know I still cause harm, probably a ton of it no matter what I do. And it kills me, it just kills me, that maybe the best you can ever do is cause less harm." -Ethan

"This is love, even if it doesn't feel like it." -Jules

Favorite characters:
Jonah Bay-I relate to him somehow. Despite the fact that he's a brilliant gay man, the son of a folk singer, and a genius in robotics.
Jules & Dennis's relationship-feels very natural.
Jules & Ethan's relationship-also feels natural, but it shouldn't, so that's kind of magical.
Ethan Figman-a saint, but also flawed, but mostly sensitive and introspective and caring.

Recommended for: character lovers, confused people, people with flaws, artists, dreamers, readers, vacation-goers, homebodies, and doodlers.

Final thoughts: Wolitzer not only knows how to write stories, she knows how to end them. I don't have a lot else to say because I mostly let myself get caught up in the story while reading. It was a great experience.


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Gift Idea Ideas

Around this time of year, every blog/website/magazine seems to have their own version of a Gift Idea Round Up. I, being a procrastinating shopper and someone who never knows what to get people for Christmas, always read them. And I always come away disappointed. I've finally realized that what I don't like about these lists is their specificity: instead of "ideas," these lists are full of actual products that the writer/curator wants me to go out and purchase. I know I can use the products as a springboard for my own shopping list, and I do, but what I really want is a list that helps me think about why I'm giving gifts in the first place.

On the practical side, I truly feel the best gifts are the ones that will be used (and maybe even used up--I don't want to be the source of clutter in someone else's life!). If tchotchkes are what bring a person true joy and happiness, fine, I'll get that, but otherwise I will search high and low for something functional, consumable, and/or memorable (as in an experience of some sort).

On the personal side, I also think about the person and tailor the gift not just to them, but to my relationship with them. More specifically, I like to give people something similar to things they give me throughout the year: food, comfort, free rides, inclusion, good times, love, laughter...I think you get it. These things are both tangible and not, but there's usually always a matching gift for them.

So that's my formula for gift giving. Of course, this all goes out the window if someone actually has a request. A Christmas request is a blessing, gosh darnit, and you best honor that. It takes 100% of the guess work out of shopping and guarantees a happy camper. The thing is, most adults don't have requests. Asking for requests usually elicits a "Oh, you don't have to give me anything," or a "I'd be happy with whatever you get me," because most of us have been raised to not expect gifts and to be grateful for whatever we have/get. To those people I say: just come out and say what you want because I know you'll be sort of disappointed if I don't magically figure it out!

Another note on having requests and a word of advice for the financially independent: often, having a disposable income means being able to buy whatever you want whenever you want. This means, come gift-giving seasons, people are at a loss for what to give you. If you hold off purchasing some of your wants, then gift-givers might have a better chance of getting you a gift you'll appreciate. Practice minimalism and intentional consumerism while helping out those who are clueless as to what to give you for the holidays. Wins all around!

All of this being said, I do have several go-to gifts that (I think) work for a variety of people. Yes, I make substitutions or alterations for each person, but these "gift templates" are great starting points when time is running out and I'm short on ideas.

Start with a theme. Instead of trying to find the perfect gift, think of an appropriate theme, then get smaller items that relate to it. Essentially, a gift basket. In the past I've done "Recuperate and Relax" (heating pad, foam roller, post-workout drink), "Hydration" (fancy shampoo/conditioner, a few favorite drinks, lotion), "Movie Night" (popcorn, candy, movies/rental gift cards), and "Expat" (peanut butter, Oreos, candles, a book written in English).

Think about needs (and wants). Where is the recipient in life? A college kid living away from home might need grocery money. S/he probably wants to spend that money on booze. Help them out with a gift card to a nearby store and six pack of something classier than what they're used to. A grandma bracing herself for another winter might need more bags of salt or heavy-duty boots. She probably wants something a little more sentimental. Look for something cozy and cute, like sturdy slippers. If you'll be around, offer to shovel for her.

Do a little snooping. If you're comfortable with the recipient, snoop around their life. Ask friends and family members if they've talked about things they might like. When you're at their house, sneak a peek into their closets/pantries/bedrooms...jk, sort of. Full disclosure, I do this during Thanksgiving at my parents house to see where they might be in need of something and regularly do it at home when I'm thinking about what to get my roommates. A lot of times people have blind spots to things they're used to living without. Examples: stemless wineglasses, fancy coffee, butter dishes...(most of my snooping is in the kitchen).

Scratch-offs. When in doubt, get a holiday-themed scratch off. It's great for all ages. (Give the kiddos a penny and let them have at it. They'll have a ball trying to match the pictures...no need to tell them there's money on the line.) And if there's a winner, even better!

A Journal Journey Pt 2

Another journal milestone: I finished this little guy (finally) after just over a year of scribbles. My journaling was slow this year, something I hope to remedy in 2015. I love blogging and writing on here, for an audience, but journaling is my true release and creative outlet/muse. It only took me until about now to realize that I have a hard time writing creatively before I write out all the junk first. So, less journaling means less creative writing, which means a less fulfilled human. Anyways, I know that now, so here's to fulfillment in 2015!

And here's my journal journey to date: everything personal and cringe-worthy from my life in 12 notebooks.

It's strange that I know most of their contents by their covers. The black one is my Rome journal, one of my favorites for obvious reasons. I taped/stapled nearly every receipt, ticket stub, train pass, brochure, and whatever other scraps of paper I came into contact with while abroad inside (that's why it won't close) and I'm so glad I did. That's something I forget to do now, but hope to make a habit again. Those scraps trigger memories and inspire stories. The one with the circles and the white one with the hair tie around it are from MercyWorks. There's a lot of growth in those (so much I needed hair ties to keep them secured). Large portions of all of these journals feature my favorite lines from songs and books, silly to-do lists, and self-pep talks. Sometimes I recalled a day's events, but more often than not I just recorded the moment's feelings, anxieties, prayers, goals, and hesitations.

Up next, filling this guy with whatever inspires me.

Chicken & Noodles: Relationship Observations and a Recipe

Isn't it funny how the books we read and meals we make inspire so many conversations? These simple touchstones can carry me through an evening of companionship--though sometimes the dialogue can get a little heated, as was the case Saturday night when Jesus and I made dinner and I discussed my current read, Cooked, by Michael Pollan. (Readers of this blog know I'm a fan--see here.)

The book has already brought up a myriad of life-thoughts for me, and I'm only 50 pages in. Especially as I (continue to) pontificate to Jesus while reading, it's clear that food (and where it comes from) is pretty important to me. I strive to eat food (not food-like products) and think about how it gets to my kitchen/table/mouth. Jesus's philosophy is quantity over quality, getting the most for the least, and protein above all.

These contradictory principles have worried me in the past, but so far haven't been an insurmountable point of contention. It helps that I do most all of the cooking when we're together, so I have control in that area. (By choice--I very much enjoy it. Plus, Jesus makes a great sous chef. Don't think he doesn't do his share or at least wash dishes!) And he'll eat whatever I make--if homemade/home-cooked/real food is offered to him, he definitely takes it over fast food. He just won't go out and search for these things on his own.

To illustrate our food logic: I love soup. I never/rarely order it at restaurants because I know I can make it cheaper and better at home. Soup is easy to make, hard to mess up, super comforting in the cold months, and can be as hearty as you want when you're the chef. Jesus hates soup. Or rather, he hates broth. Give him a rotisserie chicken and a side of veggies and he's happy. Put those ingredients in a bowl with some chicken stock and he's up in arms wondering where his sustenance is.

The meal that inspired this revelation? Chicken noodle soup from scratch. I used store-bought noodles, but balanced that out by using a whole chicken for the meat and stock. I roped Jesus into helping and heard all about how cutting up the chicken on our own, boiling it off the bone, using the bones for stock, and adding all that water was counter-intuitive to our his end goal: eating chicken. I listened, then watched as he devoured two bowls.

I still couldn't get him to see that the activity of cutting the chicken and knowing I wasn't wasting any part of it added to my eating experience, but I think he found new respect for me (if his "I love you. That's gross," as I dislocated the thigh bone means anything). Even if I don't go to the From Scratch Extreme every time, I like to challenge myself. I always learn something. Spending non-screen time with my boyfriend is always a positive, and we had a lovely meal at the end of it all. I guess until he refuses to eat what I serve (as if), we're doing okay.

Chicken and Noodles (from the Pioneer Woman)

This recipe isn't meant to be soup, but depending on how much broth you make/use and if you add the flour at the end (I didn't), it can range from soup to stew to...chicken and noodles. Enjoy!

1 whole cut up fryer chicken (YouTube "how to cut a whole chicken" for helpful walk throughs)
2 carrots, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
1/2 medium onion, diced (I used almost a whole onion)
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp tumeric (I left this out)
1/4 tsp white pepper (I used black)
1/4 tsp ground thyme (I used an Italian seasoning mix)
2 tsp parsley flakes
16 oz egg noodles
3 tbsp flour (optional)

Cover chicken in 4 quarts water. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low. Simmer for 30 minutes. (Heads up, you're gonna need a huge pot. Or two medium sized ones at least.)

Remove chicken from pot to a cutting board. With two forks, remove as much meat from the bones as you can, slightly shredding meat in the process. Keep meat off to the side. Return bones to broth and continue simmering on low, covered, for 45 minutes.

Remove bones from broth. Add vegetables, herbs, and spices. Stir to combine and simmer for 10 minutes.

Increase heat and add egg noodles and chicken. Cook for 8-10 minutes. (I stopped here and served myself a bowl of hearty chicken noodle soup.)

Optional: mix flour and a little water. Stir until smooth. Pour into soup, stir to combine, and simmer for another 5 minutes, or until broth thickens a bit.

Sunday Night Survey: Consumerism & Camaraderie Edition

I'll never be a social butterfly or a person who loves shopping, but I can pretend for a weekend--this weekend to be specific. I officially started my Christmas shopping, which leaves me feeling strangely content and successful despite my distaste for the consumption of the season. I also caught up with two friends from different circles of my life. Altogether, the weekend was refreshing and a great kickoff to my subtle festivity (Subtle Festivity is coincidentally a proposed title for my pretend lifestyle blog).

Macy's: outdoing everyone else's festivity since 1858.

Making: chicken noodle soup from scratch (whole chicken, store-bought noodles).
Drinking: tea at home, tea at tea shops, tea in Starbucks, and tea before bed.
Eating: in a very crowded Macy's food court.
Traveling: up and down escalators in search of better views and to cross off my shopping list.
Finding: a few deals along the way.
Talking: about siblings and parents and heath insurance and life goals.
Picking: out my health insurance plan for next year. I can't wait to hardly use it (because knock on wood I'm luckily and purposefully healthy).
Marveling: at the amount of people out shopping.
Wandering: past and through the Christkindl Market (very briefly--it was packed on Saturday night).
Watching: the Badgers lose the Big 10 Championship spectacularly.
Breaking: in a brand new journal, a good time for...
Re-committing: myself to my personal writing practice.
Reading: Cooked by Michael Pollan.
Getting: my news from SNL.
Putting: away the orange-colored and pumpkin-flavored candles.
Pulling: out the reds, greens, pines, and cinnamons.
Arranging: one strand of Christmas lights over our living room window. Festivity!

Sunday School

Here is what I learned today, compliments of writer/blogger Melissa Frederick (in a guest post on Brevity):

Like it or not, we writers have to accept that the only way to get good at writing is to write and share that writing with others. If the only space we have to hone our skills is a blog, so be it. 

Here's the article in entirety: "About Getting Good: The Many Paths to Literary Mastery".

Where'd You Go, Bernadette

Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

First thoughts: I loved the format of emails/letters/Bee's thoughts in the beginning part of the book. It made for a quick read. There were several WTF moments throughout this strange, yet fun, tale.

More thoughts on Bee's thoughts: she seems precocious, even for a fifteen year old. I also had a hard time believing how well-adjusted she is during some major upheavals in her life. She goes from annoying to endearing and back again within pages.

Favorite character: Manjula (for the first half of the book). I related to her job of answering emails and doing Bernadette's every bidding.

Overall character thoughts: While I enjoyed each of the characters, none of them were truly real. I'm not sure that they're supposed to be, though, so this is just a thought and not a critique, per se.

Where I read: in marathon spurts before bed. (The book was too heavy to carry with me like I usually do.)

Recommended for: "found" story fans, travelers, architects, nerds, geeks, drama queens, people who complain about the cold.

Final thoughts: I liked this book. Just liked. I'm interested to see what's next for Semple.


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A Journal Journey

Today marks the day I finish my 5-year, sentence-or-so/day journal. My interest in the project ebbed and flowed, and there were times I had to fill out a week retrospectively, but overall I've been religious about summing up my day in a few short lines since December 2009.

My favorite part was reading back each day to see what I had done the year(s) before. I noticed trends (fall's allergies, spring's restlessness) and marked traditions (holiday celebrations, anniversary rituals). Sometimes I found myself in completely different surroundings, while other years I could write the previous year's lines almost verbatim. A lot has changed (my location, my boyfriend, my job). A lot stayed the same (I know the girl who wrote those lines four, five years ago. She is still me.).

I've decided to continue the line/day journal because I do feel like I've gotten a lot from it (at the very least I can tell you what I did, in general, on any given day in the past five years...and that has to count for something). I'm going to pare it down, though, and really only give myself one line. Each page of my new journal will be dedicated to one calendar date and I'll write line by line until it's full.

This journey's not over yet.

What I Know About...Biking in December

"What I Know About..." is a new series I'm trying out this month. A lot of blogs have a specific niche; this one ranges from food to travel to happiness seeking. What I'm saying is, I'm not a specialist in any one thing (frankly, I'm afraid of the commitment), but I do know a thing or two about a thing or two. Why not share my knowledge? "What I Know About" could be the subtitle of this blog, or the title of my memoir, so it seems like a fitting series to play around with.

On this, the frigid first day of December, I don't know a whole lot. My brain is still on sleepy vacation mode and my body is wondering when I can eat again. Still, I had to get to work and my empty Ventra card meant it would be by bike. And I think I can safely say I'm becoming versed in the nuances of December biking.

I know...

1. I will not survive the journey without layers: doubled-up thick socks, leggings under pants, thermals under sweaters, mittens under gloves, and a balaclava under the hat under my helmet.
2. Cars are far less likely to see me when it gets dark at 4, and they aren't expecting me on the roads when the temps dip below freezing. I'm extra vigilant in this season, making sure I always have reflective gear and lights.
3. Christmas lights are starting to go up!
4. Bike traffic will be much lighter than it is in warmer months, but what traffic there is will be more vocal. For some reason, bikers who bike past the first snow are more open to starting conversations at red lights. Simple ones, like "It's cold out, huh," or "Where'd you get that reflective vest?"
5. Snot will run and my eyes will tear up in the wind, but no one cares if I farmer blow or spit on the road.
6. Twenty minutes of exercise twice a day can't be bad for me and it always beats spending five dollars to stand and wait in the cold.
7. I can write most of a blog post in my head during the twenty minutes it takes to get home. (Remembering and transcribing it when I get there are the hard parts.)

Bonuses: I can always find parking and I never have to shovel myself out!