Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Bump in the Night

"Hey babe? Can you come here...and bring a needle with you?" Jesse called from the bathroom.

Melody sighed from their bedroom. "For what? I'm a little busy." She went back to reading her book, hoping Jesse would do his own sewing.

"Please? I need help." Jesse walked in the room, one leg of his sweatpants rolled up as far as it would go to reveal a pasty white thigh.

"What's wrong?" Melody rolled over to face him. "Oh, God. Jesse, put that down. You're so pale."

Jesse propped his leg up on the bed so Melody was face-to-face with his groin. "I have a thing." He pointed to a yellow and green bump on his inner thigh. "Can you poke it with a needle? I think it needs to drain out."

Melody pushed his hips out of her face and sat up straighter. "Woah, bud. Whatever happened to leaving a little mystery in our relationship?"

"I'm really freaking out about this, Mel. What if it's a tumor? Some sort of growth?" He pulled his sweatpants all the way off and stood in just his boxers. "You know what? Forget about it. I'll take care of it myself. Where's the sewing kit?"

"Some things can't be forgotten, Jesse. The needles are in the hallway closet, on the shelf above the towels." Melody picked up her book. "Make sure you sterilize." She heard water running, then a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh. Shit. Wow, that hurts."

Curious, Melody peeked her head into the bathroom. Jesse sat on the edge of the tub, one leg crossed over the other, as he poked and prodded with the needle. After piercing himself, he squeezed on either side of the bump, exhaling slowly. Blood gathered around his fingertips.

"You know that's probably an ingrown hair, right?" she asked.

Jesse looked up, putting on his best Pity Me face. "It hurts so bad. Is it really bright in here? It's like the sun's in my eyes. I feel so hot." He leaned back, closing his eyes. "Oh, no, now it feels like I'm spinning."

"Babe, you uh...do any drugs recently?"

"I think part of my soul is leaking out of me."

"Alright, I'm gonna go put in a pizza. You hungry?" Melody started walking away before Jesse answered. "Good luck with your growth. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me. Don't need me."



  1. Haha... there's something to be said for not sharing everything in a relationship :)

  2. ew ew ew ewwwwww Growths ewwwww!! lol You write so well I could visualize everything perfectly!

    1. Haha, thanks & sorry for the visuals!

  3. Thanks for this! Now I can forget that image!

  4. Yikes! Yes, a little mystery is always a good thing. Love the dialogue in this! Nicely done! :)

  5. Ewww :P That was bad and awesomely told :P Loved the fun in it.

  6. uhhh I shouldn't have read this whilst eating my lunch! :)

    1. Oops, should've posted a disclaimer at the top: Warning, read at own risk!

  7. Really great dialogue, and a fun read! "I think part of my soul is leaking out of me" is an awesome line!

    I enjoyed this a lot.

  8. What a funny story! I immediately thought of all the times I've said something similar to my wife: "Hun, I've got this thing on my (back, head, foot, etc.) that I can't quite reach and it really hurts. Can you lance it?" Hehehe... I can't say I've been stoned on any of those occasions, but I thought the dialogue was spot on. Thanks for sharing :)

  9. Ha! Usually I have to force my wife away from any type of growth that may occur (she's a nurse). I kind of wish my life were more like this. Great story!