...I started having a lot of fun at my current one.
The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. -Camus
When I first made the decision to start looking for other employment, I panicked. House managing/nannying can be a Sisyphean task: no matter how many loads of laundry I wash or dinners I prepare, the same messes and jobs await me each day. When I added a job search to that, I got bogged down in the what-ifs and how-tos and whens and worried myself sick trying to figure out this transition, while at the same time craving the change more and more.
Then I took one step. And another. I researched online postings, updated my resume, drafted cover letters, sent emails, and practiced interview questions. Slowly, I released the iron grip I held on my work life. I took a step back to view the mountain as a whole and let my job be what it is: an awesome learning-through-doing experience, filled with plenty of challenges, but also appealing to many of my strengths. (More laundry? Super! I am a laundry BOSS.)
I've dealt with this up-and-down struggle before. Sometimes work makes me lose sleep and eat my feelings. Sometimes I sing silly songs during my commute. Sometimes I live in a work fog; sometimes I find a comfortable work-life balance. These days I'm pushing up the mountain and not falling (as far) down. Or at least when I do, I smile about it.