Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The Struggle Itself

A funny thing happened on my way to find a new job...
...I started having a lot of fun at my current one.
The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. -Camus
When I first made the decision to start looking for other employment, I panicked. House managing/nannying can be a Sisyphean task: no matter how many loads of laundry I wash or dinners I prepare, the same messes and jobs await me each day. When I added a job search to that, I got bogged down in the what-ifs and how-tos and whens and worried myself sick trying to figure out this transition, while at the same time craving the change more and more.

Then I took one step. And another. I researched online postings, updated my resume, drafted cover letters, sent emails, and practiced interview questions. Slowly, I released the iron grip I held on my work life. I took a step back to view the mountain as a whole and let my job be what it is: an awesome learning-through-doing experience, filled with plenty of challenges, but also appealing to many of my strengths. (More laundry? Super! I am a laundry BOSS.)

I've dealt with this up-and-down struggle before. Sometimes work makes me lose sleep and eat my feelings. Sometimes I sing silly songs during my commute. Sometimes I live in a work fog; sometimes I find a comfortable work-life balance. These days I'm pushing up the mountain and not falling (as far) down. Or at least when I do, I smile about it.

10 comments:

  1. "Sometimes work makes me lose sleep and eat my feelings" <--I love that. Not that you lose sleep over work but "eating feelings" is a great way to put it. But I'm glad you smile about it. :)

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    1. Eating my feelings is usually accompanied by ugly eating and most often occurs in my bed...you've gotta smile when that's your reality! :)

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  2. "Eating my feelings" is very vivid and completely describes the emotions that you might be experiencing without listing them one by one. That sort of phrase drops the reader directly into your shoes--nice!

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    1. Glad you appreciate it! Thanks for reading.

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  3. I loved the quote from Camus that you used. Great post!

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  4. It is the doing of the thing, isn't it? I'm in need-a-new-job denial right now. Your post may have inspired me to dust off my resume!

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  5. I so hear you on the work thing. Except instead of laundry and dinner, it's insurance stuff. The never-ending laundry and dinner cycle is just the unpaid portion of my day. And it's so true that perspective is everything.

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    1. We all have our rocks to roll up our mountains...but you make a good point: unlike Sisyphus, we get paid! (except for the "2nd shift" parts of our days...) Thanks for reading!

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