If You Want Peace, Work For Justice...

I'm so glad for a few days off after a retreat to just let things simmer and to slowly make my way back into a work rhythm.

The MercyWorks Winter Retreat focused on spirituality and social justice, two of our five core values. We had it at the La Salle Manor in Plano, IL, a huge lodge that made it feel like we were meeting in the middle of a giant tree. It was the perfect time to get away from the city after being stuck in all the snow for most of last week.

We started off the retreat by having our own little Super Bowl party. We have no true Steelers fans among us, only spiteful ones, so it was a fun game to watch even on the tiny screen we had. Our favorite commercials were the Volkswagen one with Darth Vader and the Reply All Bridgestone one. I noticed that many commercials were violent, though, it didn't matter what they were selling. Violent and apocalyptic, which says a lot about the times we are living in. And I was totally appalled at the Groupon commercial reducing the Tibetan people to their fish curry. We MercyWorkers are probably one of the more sensitive groups when it comes to the exploitation of the underprivileged or suffering, so all of our jaws dropped at this one.

our pathetic little tv...at least the picture was good!

I could go on about playing on stereotypes for a quick laugh and then tie that in to several things we discussed during our retreat, but instead I'll just let you assume that we created a smooth transition from football to fighting for change. We like to start retreats by sinking our fears and floating our hopes--dropping stones into a bowl of water and placing flowers to float on top--and this is an awesome way to center and focus on what you want to get out of retreat. I sunk cynicism, since that's usually what stops me from caring/doing something about social justice, and I floated floating--I've been having troubles sleeping lately, so I just wanted to go into retreat with a sense of peaceful mindlessness. Floating would be my hopeful optimism for real change in the world.

I'll quickly outline the next three days of retreat and go into more depth in future posts. Each day had two or three sessions focusing on creating action plans for social change, discussing social justice issues closest to our own hearts, creating intention posters for our overnight prayer vigil, and connecting our own spiritualities to social justice. The night of the prayer vigil was also the silent part of the retreat, no talking for twelve hours. I found that night both the most difficult and the most rewarding, which I guess shouldn't be surprising. Another night we spent enjoying each other's company by playing silly games. I think I grew closer to more than a few of my community members this week.

Almost time for acupuncture...I'll be back on here later to post pictures and write more.

For the First Time in My Life, a Snow Day Means MORE Work.

I'm real disappointed meteorologists don't name winter storms. Assuming this is the first one of the year, it could have been Blizzard Annie or Winter Storm Alexander. I mean, a storm big enough to make Chicago public schools call off for the first time in a decade deserves a cooler name than Winter Storm of 2011, right?

The Mercy Home blizzard experience had its ups and downs. Most youth got sent home early from school yesterday and they were pretty hyper, but then the power went out and they got strangely quiet. To keep some sort of order, we substituted quiet time for their usual study time and most used it to take a two hour nap. With no power and the kitchens closed until at least Thursday, we had pizza delivered for dinner.

Luckily the power came back before it got too cold inside and instead we focused our energies on making fun of all the cars getting stuck in the snow drifts forming in the parking lot.

The real snowing and blowing came overnight, and by the time I had to be up and back to work at seven this morning, the drifts covered cars and left nearly all the roads nearly unnavigable. All the guys had snow days today, and so did non-direct youth care staff at Mercy. So it's just been the youth care workers here since yesterday afternoon, and many spent the night either in our guest rooms or in the other staff apartment on campus. It was a fun sleepover for some, though a little weird.

A lot of guys spent the day today helping to shovel out cars that were stuck overnight, and those who didn't brave the outdoors went to activities throughout the day: hip hop dance, basketball, musical instruments, movies, board games, cookie decorating, and video games. I also got a few to make their beds, clean their rooms, and do some laundry.

Speaking of which, now that I finally have some time off, I should do laundry. Too bad I have to help shovel out our four cars, all nearly buried. Blech.

At least we can see the Sears Tower again!

People have been walking down the middle of the streets since sidewalks aren't shoveled.

GIANT drifts

On the Road Again

Most of our Community Nights from here on out have been dictated for us by the powers that be: speakers, forums, special events, and road maps will fill up our Wednesdays for a while. This week we had Road Maps, which basically means three community  members got up and told us their life story, in any way they wanted. The first three set the bar high, including visuals and interactive sections and honestly, vulnerably revealing themselves.

I don't want to say I'm nervous for my Road Map (which doesn't come until mid-March), but I am definitely unsure of how to format it. Should I write it all down, word for word, or just give myself general talking points? Should I use pictures? Actual road maps? I think what makes these nights special is that we were all given the same task, to tell our story, but each one will be completely different. Not just the substance of the stories, but the way in which we tell them. Really, that's half the story, right?

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In other road map news, I spent yesterday traveling to Madison and Beloit for MercyWorks recruitment and sibling reunion. After dropping off Liz at the UW for a career fair, I drove to Edgewood to talk with a campus ministry representative about volunteering and to get lunch with Bailey and Quinn, compliments of Quinn. You know you're out of college, but not too out of college, when the outfits (sweats) and flexible time seem strange, but vaguely familiar.

After Madison, Liz and I drove to Beloit to have dinner with several students interested in social work and/or volunteering. We talked about Mercy Home, MercyWorks, and what it's like living in community and then they had the chance to ask us questions. One of the guys asked me what a normal day looked like. I didn't quite have an answer--I know what a normal day should look like, but I'm not sure if one has ever happened.

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Today I have a check-in with Liz and Katie and then it's back to work. Having a Friday as my Monday can be super weird sometimes.

The Oldest Rivalry?

Britney taped the cover of last week's RedEye to my door before the game this weekend:

Then I took the liberty of editing today's cover to tape on her door:

This rivalry is awesome.

Brief Moments of Adult Behavior

I did adult-type things both Friday and Saturday night this past weekend. So weird.

Friday a bunch of us went to Howl at the Moon, a dueling piano bar downtown. Stephanie had won a party there which included a free buffet and discount drinks, so we came hungry. Since our simple living challenge this week is vegetarianism, we had to skip the chicken and steak in our burritos and stick with rice and peppers. Then the music started.

The dueling pianos don't so much duel as they collaborate. They took requests for practically any song or artist, then they'd rotate instruments as needed: two on pianos or one on piano and one on the drum set--until more band members joined them. Every member of the band played nearly every instrument available: piano, drums, guitar, trumpet. And their songs ranged from Billy Joel to the Backstreet Boys to the Beatles to Britney Spears. Seriously, though, they knew tons of songs. We even got them to do Justin Bieber.

Saturday's grown up activity was attending Funk It Up About Nothin' at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater on Navy Pier. Before you start assuming things, let me tell you this play was a hip hop adaptation of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing and a brilliant one at that. Becca and I spent most of the play laughing our pants off. Anyone interested in Shakespeare, hip hop, English major-y things, music, or the arts in general should definitely check this out. The Q Brothers have really struck gold with this.

Besides these two events, other mature things I did this weekend include watching several TED talks about consumption and ecoactivism, as well as reading Imperfect Birds by Anne Lamott, cleaning our bathroom, and watching the NFC Championship game at work. That last one maybe isn't "grown up," but when you work with teenage boys, it kind of comes with the territory.

Shedd & Chapel

This week's edition of The Thursday Adventures of the Misfits & Bandits takes place first at the Shedd Aquarium. Here's what I learned there:

• Fish are disgusting.
• As disgusting as fish are, I still wanted to stand and gawk at them for over an hour.
• Aquariums don't seem as mean/confining as zoos, even though they are far more constricting if you consider the size of oceans versus the jungle.
• Free Day at the Shedd is worth every penny.

After that, Kevin, Shannon, Kate, and I had the chance to eat dinner with six Sisters of Charity. These women were a hoot, let me tell you. From stories of children they've worked with as teachers and residential care providers to re-tellings of their days around the city, they had lots to talk about. They also had lots of questions for us. 

One of them was celebrating her 78th birthday that night, so besides the dinner meal of roast beef and mashed potatoes, we also got cake. Sister Suzanne's cake request: chocolate cake with whipped cream. It was quite tasty. Plus she kept passing around a box of chocolates for us to eat.

After dinner we joined them for vespers, their evening prayer, in the small chapel. Then we helped with dishes and cleaning the kitchen and all sat in their living room where they continued to tell us stories. I wish I had a notebook with me that night so I could remember more of them. As we left they each gave us hugs, told us to visit again, and said to bring the rest of our roommates the next time. What might be more fun, though, is having them over to our apartment for dinner. 

Things that Make Me Want to Clean: Meditation

This week at acupuncture, Kirk jazzed it up. He did the usual needle and meditation music bit, then added a little electricity to the needles in my neck. It felt like a small tapping at the base of my skull. He also asked if I had been using the meditation CD he gave me. I fibbed a little by saying I had meditated a few times over the week. I really did try several times, but I don't think I succeeded in any of those tries.

Kirk's big thing was consistency over length. He said he'd rather me try ten minutes a day than thirty minutes three times a week. He must have guessed my meditations weren't quite as fruitful as one would hope. Mostly they look like this:

Turn music on. Take a deep breath. Sit on bed. Close eyes. Think positive thoughts. Breathe. Wonder what I'm supposed to be thinking about. Try to remember/invent a mantra to repeat. I am the divinity who resides in me? Not ready for that kind of intensity. Think of quippy titles for the blog post about failed meditation. Compose rough draft of blog post about failed meditation. Deep breath. Try to listen to the music/white noise. Check iPod. Only three minutes in.

This goes on for maybe ten minutes, then I'll usually start reading or cleaning my room, headphones still in. If I'm listening to the music I'm still sort of meditating, right? Plus I have things that need to get done and roommates demanding attention. I'll keep you posted if I ever reach Nirvana.

Boys Will Be Boys

It's a pretty good day to be a Packer fan. Also a good day for hair supporters (see here and here). While we're at it, let's make it a good day for teams not represented by a bird. (If the trend continues, the Seahawks don't really stand a chance...and now that I think about it, maybe not the Jets either?)

Before I could veg out and watch football all afternoon, though, I had to work my Saturday shift. Usually an easy couple of hours before all my guys are out of program (I make sure they wake up and try to convince them to eat something other than Pop Tarts for breakfast before I send them on their way home or to work), today I had to stay for a full shift. A full shift with no structure (read: trying to entertain a teenager for eight hours).

Luckily the guy who was in program today had things to do, so we weren't just playing video games all day, but the three hours in the gym were probably a bit excessive. I can't even begin to explain their obsession with the gym, except to say I wish they loved showering even half as much as they love gym time. Maybe then we wouldn't need an air freshener in every outlet.

Misfits & Bandits Strike Again

Out of my 13 roommates, 5 of them have Thursdays off with me. Six MercyWorkers is always a good time, and Thursdays have pretty much become my favorite day of the week. Whether it's cooking family dinners, watching TV, exploring Chicago, or just doing hoodrat things around the apartment, we always seem to entertain ourselves (and anyone else in the vicinity).

Yesterday, Kevin, Britney, and I, three of the Misfits & Bandits (all fun groups need a nickname), took a walk downtown to the Chicago Cultural Center, one of the most beautiful and confusing buildings in the city. The center always has something going on: free music or theater, art exhibits, lectures--and the architecture of the building is magnificent.

We were going to see a special exhibit, Finding Vivian Maier: Chicago Street Photographer, which featured photos never before released to the public. We also stood in awe at the stained glass domes, one of them done by Tiffany.

After a long and cold walk back to our apartment, Kevin and I made chili, a considerable feat taking into account our lack of chili ingredients. Kevin is a kitchen master, though, so we weren't really surprised when in turned out amazing.

We capped off the night by watching Shutter Island, a movie I consider comparable, though overall superior, to Inception. Another successful Thursday.

Putting the Punk Back into Acupuncture

On a stretch of Ashland north of Belmont (Nobel?), in between a bank and a row of herbal healers and acupuncturists, sits a renovated house where my very own acupuncturist has his practice. That's right, readers: I have an acupuncturist, Kirk. My MD, Dr. Lee, gave me a referral after I saw him for back pain and headaches last week. (How about that, my Western medicine-prescribing doctor is Asian American and my ancient-Chinese-medicine-practicing healer is European American.)

Today was my first visit. Kirk started by tapping tiny needles into my back and neck. Then he left me alone for about twenty minutes with a heat lamp over my lower back. I felt a bit weird and wondered what I looked like. Through the hole in the head cushion, my eyes made pictures out of the shading in the blue carpet. At about the time the saltshaker morphed into a raccoon, I relaxed. Several minutes later, Kirk came back to pull out the needles.

He had me flip over and put new needles in my ankles, hands, the insides of my elbows, and the outsides of my ears. These were supposed to help my circulation, which would improve a multitude of things. Again, he left me there about twenty minutes and my eyes made pictures out of the pattern in the ceiling tiles. Russian woman praying. Fireworks. Dandelion. Then he was back again to pull out the needles. And that was it.

I don't feel a lot different yet, but these things take time. I have another appointment next week, plus a meditation CD Kirk gave me to help quiet my inner chatter. Along with the Western medicine, it's been a significantly more relaxed week for me in the West Loop.

What.

The moss green wall of the computer room at work features an obnoxious, impossible-to-miss mural, but up until recently I never sat and really looked at it. It's basically a painting of people and things smooshed together with no apparent meaning. From what I've heard, some lady painted it a while ago with inspiration from the guys living in Daley Home then; the guys in program now never comment on it. Last night at work, while three of the guys sat doing homework, I monitored them and took some time trying to interpret this incomprehensible mural.

The first thing that gets me is the gray-faced Asian lady at the top. She appears to be sitting on the red car below her, your standard red sedan only with an eye peering out from it. Also, it's balanced on a deformed globe, which in turn is balanced on a black sedan. That's weird enough. Add to that the eye's mate, sitting between the face of a lion and a brown shoe near the bottom. Off to the left, the shoe's mate hides behind a Notre Dame quarterback ready to throw a football through a hole in a giant dollar bill. A green/yellow face looks out further to the left. On the opposite side, a gorilla throws another football. The other three figures in the mural resemble a Salvador Dali or Edvard Munch painting--faces and bodies melting into the surrounding blocks of color.

Strange, right? None of these things fit together. Maybe that's why the whole thing is outlined in red: to hold them together and force them to gel. I would have sat to contemplate this mural further, but would you know it, one of the guys was using Napster to listen to Lil Wayne instead of to research techno music for a report.

Escape to Garfield Park

With very little snow on the ground but ever-dropping temperatures, the tropical oasis of the Garfield Park Conservatory felt great last Thursday. Located in Chicago's "up and coming" neighborhood of Garfield Park, the conservatory is only a short drive from my apartment and has been on my roommates' and my to do lists for some time now. It's totally free, and features several rooms filled with palm trees, ferns, cacti, and special seasonal flowers.

Fern Room

Their Holiday Flower show is over now, to be replaced with the Spring show, but we did get to see the room filled with evergreens and poinsettias. My favorite was either the Desert House or the Fern Room.

Desert House

Walking around what is essentially a giant greenhouse felt like an escape from reality--from the smell of dirt to the sound of waterfalls, it was hard to believe that traffic and skyscrapers were right outside. Fun trivia about the Garfield Park Conservatory: The Dilemma, which is set in Chicago, includes scenes filmed here. (See seconds .59-1.09 in the trailer.)

Possible Back-up Career?

When I'm not volunteering full time, I enjoy spending my time volunteering. No, really. Well, only if my roommates come with. Last Wednesday we spend our Community Night packaging emergency food boxes for Cook County at the Greater Chicago Food Depository (a giant warehouse south of Chicago...honestly, several football fields would fit inside).

The way they do these emergency boxes is a la I Love Lucy, aka rapidly moving conveyor belt. Each person has a specific product to place in a specific spot in the box. Then it gets labeled, weighed, taped, placed on pallets, and loaded into the warehouse until an emergency (fire, flood, etc). The boxes we packaged could feed a family of five for a minimum of 3-4 days.

Since my job was to take the boxes off the line and stack them on the pallets, I could watch pretty much the entire line in motion: my roommates and the other volunteers putting their products in, the boxes making their way around the corner where more of my roommates manned the scale and tape machine, then the pallet area where I stood. It was all so efficient--our goal was to pack 1,000 boxes, or 25 pallets, but we finished a total of 1,179 boxes in the two hours we worked.

During the break we got halfway through, I joked with my roommates that it would be fun if we actually had factory jobs. We could joke around and play cards during breaks, we'd all be buff from heavy lifting...they didn't feel the same way, but I still think it would be nice every now and then to not have to think so much on the job.

Enduring Art

This past Tuesday I got the chance to tour Chicago's Fine Arts Building on Michigan Ave along with one of the guys in program and our program therapist. It's a huge building 125 years old where many artsy types have their studios. Frank Lloyd Wright once had a studio there, as well as the illustrator for The Wizard of Oz book series. Today it's home to visual artists, musicians, art and movement therapists, massage therapists, violin and piano restorers, dance instructors, a leathermaker, and a software designer, among others.

We waited on the first floor for the elevator to come down. The call button for the elevator was actually a buzzer because an old man is the operator for it. He goes up and down the ten floors all day, listening for the buzzes from above and below. We got on and asked for the sixth floor. Off we went and with a lurch and a bouncing stop, we were there.

Each studio looks different from the others: some are tiny little rooms with just one window facing out opposite the door, others have skylights and lofts. We also saw a ballroom set up for a concert with a stunning view of Lake Michigan out its broad windows.

During this mini-tour, our therapist asked the lady showing us around if rent was crazy high due to the age of the building and awesome location. Her answer was that it was really reasonable taking those things into consideration...but I'm still curious as to what "reasonable" is.

Feeling so Fly Like a Cheesehead

I'm assuming you all know I live in Chicago. And that the Packers beat the Bears on Sunday, clinching a spot in the playoffs and boosting their egos along the way. I had to be at work during the game, so that's where I watched it. Britney, a Chicagoan, watched in our living room and (according to Becca) spent most of the game cursing and yelling at Cutler. I tried not to trash talk before or during the game, saving it all for when I got home that night.

What was the best was that in the Chicago Sports section of the Tribune on Monday, there were literally 10 articles about different aspects of the game. I cut out all the pictures and made a photo collage on Britney's bedroom wall. So now when she wakes up she can see Hawk and Wynn taking Cutler to the ground, along with about seven other photos of victorious poses. I also found this video for some extra fun.

Incredi-BULL

Thanks to a very generous donor (or at the very least, a donor who was out of town for New Year's), Britney and I scored tickets to the Bulls-Cavaliers game last Saturday. Several of our roommates were jealous, but hey--Brit and I had to work New Year's Eve night, so we were the only ones home in the morning when these tickets became available.

The United Center is just a short walk from our apartment, so we saved the $20 in parking other people paid (actually cheap for Chicago). The stadium was packed with people and, oddly enough, Beatles and Eagles tribute bands. Our seats were in Row 3, which meant when we waved down by the seats ahead of us, people could see our hands on TV.

What we could see was a whole lot.

We sat right behind the Cavaliers, near one of the hoops. The players looked HUGE, and we could even hear them talking on the court. The Chicago Bulls dance team, called the Lovabulls, performed during TV breaks/timouts and when they weren't doing that, they did little distracting dance moves near the hoop. Then there was Benny the Bull, who would also be annoying if he wasn't so funny. The Jesse White Tumblers performed at halftime; when they came out Brit screamed, "This is the best day ever!" These kids are mad good, and Jesse White was even there with them.

The Bulls also do a promotion along with McDonald's that for every game, if the Bulls win with 100 points or more, everyone gets a free Big Mac. Near the end of the game, when this became a very real possiblilty, you could tell the crowd was no longer cheering for the Bulls to win, but for the Bulls to score 100 points. With about 7 seconds left the Bulls were sure to win with 99 points, but thanks to a foul the Bulls had 2 free throws. When Deng missed the first one, the entire crowd groaned. And when he made his second, people were on their feet. Oh, America.

Ciao, 2010.

Is it really January 1? Because when I look out the windows at work and see grass, clear streets, and robins jumping around in the trees I'm thinking it's April. For real--it rained yesterday so all the snow is gone, and the temps have been in the 40s.

In other strange news, I'm feeling disconnected from work. Or rather, I haven't quite gotten back into a rhythm here. Yesterday was my first back, and most of the guys were gone already for their New Year's weekend passes at home, so I still haven't seen all of them. Program is still in holiday mode and our regular structure doesn't really apply. I'm finding that, like the guys, I love having no structure but at the same time something seems to be missing here!

One thing is for certain: I couldn't ask for better roommates. Their welcome when I got back on Wednesday was amazing. It was also great to see how we reconnected so quickly after the holiday, and I love that we decided to have our own New Year's party in our apartment instead of going out somewhere. I had a wonderful night ringing in the new year by dancing to all of our favorite songs in our living room.

Chicago pics up!

Thanks to wireless and my very own laptop here at home, I could finally upload all of my Chicago pictures! Click on the "Photos" tab next to "Blog" & "About"...ta da! MercyWorks!

MercyWorks blog

A piece I wrote is featured on the MercyWorks blog! Check it out here: http://mercyworks.wordpress.com/

Just Jolly

Our new simple living challenge this week is no complaining. Well, actually, we're supposed to see it as being grateful for what we do have rather than noticing things that are wrong. So even though it's rather chilly in our apartment, I'm not complaining of being cold...I'm enjoying sweaters and blankets and the fact that I have a place to live!

Last week's challege, thanks to yours truly, was to follow Michael Pollan's Food Rules. It was a challenge when there were candies sitting on our counter, or when I just wanted a box of mac & cheese, but I've been trying to get closer to that simple form of eating for some time now. (Actually, I've tried to hold true to some form of it ever since arriving back in America after studying abroad. Romans eat SO simply, and SO grandly at the same time.)

I believe that both of these challeges get at the heart of this season as well--recognizing the blessings we have, putting a positive spin on things, celebrating the stripped down basics of life. It's been good to have these thoughts in my head while at work this week as well, especially since some of the guys don't get too excited about holidays. A lot of them feel lost during this season and they need reminders of the things they can be happy about, reminders that they really are appreciated as individuals.

As for me, I'm getting excited to be back in central Wisconsin for about a week of vacation. I plan on taking full advantage of living with Mom and Dad for the week...dinner off the grill, wireless internet, fireplace...oh, and of course enjoying their company. :) I'm also stoked to see Quinn, who has been calling/texting in abundance lately (I think he misses his older, wiser sisters), not to mention I can't wait for Bailey to get back to America! Without overwhelming her (I remember what being back is like...reverse culture shock is a pain), I plan on making her spend all her free time with me.

Drive for Mercy

This week Thursday brought another public event (as a 99.7% privately funded institution, Mercy Home has to make sure it's name gets out a lot), this one at the downtown Mercedes-Benz dealership. A young professionals group, U40 (they're all under the age of 40), put on Drive for Mercy and they needed volunteers, so Britney, Shannon, and I decided to check it out. Our jobs included checking people's coats and selling raffle tickets, and we also got to enjoy the catered food and dancing. For anyone who's never hung out at a car dealership after hours, I highly recommend it. Once we did our jobs, we basically wined and dined alongside $50,000-100,000 cars in the showroom.

On Friday I had the day off, due to a Conceptual Framework training on Wednesday. I spent most of it grocery shopping for our community--14 people need a lot of food. Luckily we have a membership at Restaurant Depot so we can get bulk items (like a gallon of olive oil or a pound of raisins). With that done, Jillian, Megan, and I headed to Bourbonnais, Jillian's hometown, to see her younger brother in an improv comedy show at his high school. He's a funny kid, and reminds me of Quinn. We also got to stop at Jillian's house, putting my roommate house visit count at 3. I'm determined to go to everyone's house sometime in my life...it's so fun to see where everyone is from!

Skating & Pasta...va bene!

On Wednesday, the MercyWorkers had their own Christmas celebration with Fr. Scott. We kicked off Community Night with appetizers and wine, along with a Christmas card photo shoot. (As models we are used to these.) Then we headed to Millennium Park for ice skating. The McCormick Tribune Ice Rink is surrounded by skyscrapers and the Bean, which reflects the skyline and all the lights of the city. After skating around and another photo shoot there, we walked a few blocks to Italian Village, Chicago's oldest Italian restaurant.

We spent most of the night enjoying each other's company (along with traditional and authentic Italian food) and trying to not talk about work (it's hard not to). Our exuberant waiter introduced himself first as George Clooney, but later admitted his name was Andre and that while he was born in Northern Italy, he was raised in Vienna, Austria and spoke more German than Italian. Either way, he continued to fill our glasses and ensure that we were taken care of. It was a super relaxing night.

It's really looking/sounding/tasting like Christmas!

O, Christmas Tree

How many Chicago school kids can say they've seen Mayor Daley in person, or that he's helped to light their Christmas tree? Not many, but the youth of Mercy Home can. This past Tuesday, Chicago's mayor attended Mercy Home's Christmas tree lighting ceremony for the 18th time, his last time as mayor of the city.

Youth from each program told what their program had done for community service in the past year (bake sales, clothing drives, volunteering at book drives and food pantries) and gave Mayor Daley the Book of Service, which outlines the community service Mercy Home youth participate in each year. Then everyone headed outside to light up the tree, sing, and get hot chocolate and cookies.

It's beginning to look/sound/taste a lot like Christmas!

This is How We Do.

Saturdays in program (like earlier today) are fairly quiet. I realize this means nothing to a lot of you, since you have no idea what I mean by quiet, or just how loud it can get here. After several months on the job, allow me to give some more detail as to what I actually do and how a "normal" day looks...just understand that people work here for years without experiencing a "normal" day.

Daley Home now includes seven youth between the ages of 13-17. All of them but one (who is still in eighth grade) attend high schools throughout the Chicagoland area, and thanks to generous donations and scholarships the guys have earned, most attend private schools. This gives them greater support due to smaller class sizes and more college-focused curriculum.

A typical day for me starts at 2, when I walk downstairs to the time clock, then down the hall and over to program. My commute is literally one minute. The guys are all still in school, so I have some time to check my work email and read the communication log to see what has happened in program since I worked last. From 3-5 the guys arrive from school. I say hi and ask how their days went, if they have lots of homework, what's new and exciting in their lives. Like the teenagers they are, they answer quickly and give few details. Some of the guys will start their homework early (or we ask them to if they are struggling in classes), but most will grab something to eat first. Those waiting to do their homework during structured study time spend pre-dinner hanging out in the milieu (common gathering area of program), on the computers in the back, napping in their rooms, or down in the gym with staff.

All the guys prep for study time before we head down to the (brand new!) cafeteria for dinner at 5:15. We eat dinner with several other programs and I again ask about the guys' days. Now, with food in front of them, they talk my ear off. "Rach," they say, "do you like to play sports?" "Where did you go to school?" "What was your favorite thing to do in high school?" I guess because staff members know so much about their upbringing and lives in general, they too are curious about us. I also learn lots of new slang words in the cafeteria and I get to see how the guys interact with other youth. Some treat each other like brothers--and it might feel just that way to those who grow up at Mercy Home with each other--while others are more private about any interaction.

Back in program, study time starts. This is where things get a little tough, because it is rare that the guys actually want to study. I spend this hour to hour and a half redirecting them from listening to music or watching youtube videos, goofing around with each other, or in general dragging their heels about getting work done. When we have outside tutors this helps them to focus, otherwise the other staff and myself might sit with one youth to keep him on task and show him that he can finish his homework if he just applies himself. I really do enjoy this time, despite feeling like I'm pulling teeth. I love when they want to show me something they are working on (a paper on alternative energy, a map of Chicago streets, Spanish verb worksheets), knowing that they trust me enough for this.

After study time comes chore time, which for me seems like less fun than homework, but for the guys is less stressful than anything school related. We let them turn the stereo on loud and goof around a little, provided they aren't horseplaying and are actually getting their chore done. The chore rotation gives them practice at cleaning a little of everything--from vacuuming and dusting to sweeping and mopping. It's good for the guys to have some responsibility for keeping their living space orderly.

Once chores are done, the guys have free time for the rest of the night. Some will continue homework while others beg us to take them to the gym. Some go for walks or down the block to the 7-11 for a snack. They watch TV or play video games, use the phone to talk to their parents, and hang out with staff. Typical teenager stuff. A few might have an early bedtime as a behavior consequence, otherwise they are still up when I leave at around 10.

Then I make the short walk back to my apartment--all without leaving the building. Most of the guys know I live on campus, which can be funny since they sometimes think I am in program like they are, with study and chore time as well. My roommates get home around the time I do and we spend the next several hours debriefing and processing our hectic days over a hodgepodge of food. On paper things go smoothly, with schedules and structure, but in reality we work with teenagers so something is always coming up to throw things off or disrupt the flow of the day: youth not coming back from school, detentions, doctor appointments, or special events at school can effect the entire night.

Hopefully this leaves you a little less confused about what I'm actually doing down here. As a residential facility providing educational and career resources as well as therapeutic treatment and basic structure, Mercy Home does a little bit of everything (even housing 14 crazy post-grads who have snowball fights in the parking lot...).

Prairie State of Mind

Happy birthday Illinois!

It became the 21st state on December 3, 1818. Read more about it here.

I'm not all bad; I'm a faithful sinner

Yesterday was Rachel Day. With snow finally falling, I set out with Dave Matthews playing on my iPod and a head full of thoughts. I've never had so many events to keep straight between work and community, and the multiple sheets of scrap paper notes covering my desk made it clear: I needed a planner. I hoofed it all the way to Target. It was cold and windy, but the time alone allowed me to breathe and think after the Thanksgiving rush and the funky sleep schedules it left in its wake.

With that done, it was time for my very first spiritual direction. Through MercyWorks, we volunteers have the chance to meet with a spiritual and/or professional mentor. I already had an informational interview with a professional development mentor a few weeks ago (she writes a whole bunch for Mercy Home), so I was excited to also have a spiritual director.

Spiritual direction has a super long history that I'll leave to you to research, but a better name for it would be spiritual conversation. Because mostly, we just talked. She asked me how I found out about Mercy Home and about my background and every now and then she would repeat what I had said and ask a clarifying question about it, or rephrase it, or somehow help me make sense of what I was saying. It was a little scary how good she was at sorting out my thoughts.

I left remembering why I came here in the first place: to do direct service. After 16+ years of school--study, theory, reflection, reading and writing--I wanted action. I chose a year of service because I specifically did not want more school (yet), I wanted practice, experience, and to dig myself into the world I'd spent so long learning about. When I took that risk (considering my comfort with theory and my discomfort with practice), I got frustrated that my spirituality felt weird. My mind and body made the leap from theory (school) to practice (full-time job), but my spirit, my faith, failed to make the switch. Of course I feel a disconnect between what I've been doing these past 3 months and my relation to God.

Because I'm no longer reading and writing as much as I used to, but instead interacting with coworkers and the guys at Mercy, I need to readjust my spirituality as well. My spiritual director called it being a "contemplative in action": recognizing God moments as I work, in the moment. That's not how I operate. I reach epiphanies with alarming delay. Still, I committed to trying it out, practicing the practice. I'll let you know how that works out for me.

(Actually, I got a chance to practice being in the moment as soon as I got home. For our Community Night, we had group yoga, which is all about letting go and focusing on breathing. It felt awesome, but I'm definitely sore today.)

A MercyWorks Thanksgiving

This past week has been one of cleaning, cooking, eating, and more cleaning...followed by a continuous strain of eating leftovers.

Wednesday night everyone helped to clean up our apartment.Thursday morning we were at it again, making sure we had enough table space and chairs, going on last minute grocery runs, and full-fledged cooking: 3 turkeys, 4 varieties of potato, stuffing, broccoli salad, succotash, greens with ham hocks, baked macaroni and cheese, jello salad, green bean casserole, cornbread casserole, tofu, salad, tamales, 5 pies, brownies, cookies, pound cake....enough to induce a food coma for sure.

I love celebrating with my roommates, and as Jillian said, we are all so blessed for it to be impossible for any of us to spend Thanksgiving alone. We all went around the table to say what we are thankful for and we spent the rest of the night switching off between eating, resting on the couches, cleaning, and conversing.

On Friday I went to the Christkindlmarket downtown. It's an outdoor market featuring lots of German products (potato pancakes, etc, plus German crafts/clothing/gifts/Christmas-y things) and some things from other countries. There is also a giant Christmas tree there, made from several trees combined. The smell of roasted nuts mixed with evergreen and German accents filled the air...basically I felt like I was at the Wausau Mall.

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I also got to see the Macy's Christmas windows, which this year tell the story of Virginia. All of the decorations in the windows this year are made out of tons of paper in all colors. It's a pretty cool effect.

the Macy's trumpets on State Street

I'd call this year's Thanksgiving a success...except we still haven't gotten snow!

Gratitude

Tonight at work I enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner with all the guys and girls at Mercy. The five-star quality food and special tablecloths would have been neat by themselves, but add to that the fact that Trump Chicago served the dinner to us at our tables along with several celebrities and you have quite the evening.

Matt Forte, Greg Olsen, Israel Idonije (Bears players), Bill Rancic (former Apprentice winner), and Chris Gardner (Will Smith played him in The Pursuit of Happyness) helped the staff from Trump serve turkey and stuffing while we reaped the benefits. A lot of the guys and girls were starstruck (others were just excited that they were getting out of study time tonight), but we still all had a good time.

And now it's time for me to have a vacation. I've had to stay late at work for various reasons this week (which is sort of funny but mostly sad, because I'm already not getting paid...and I definitely don't get overtime) so I'm very ready for a little break filled with cleaning and cooking for Thanksgiving celebration at my apartment!

Magnificent Mile Lights Festival

As far as I'm concerned, the rule with Christmas is that it's not allowed until after Thanksgiving. In the words of my roommate Kevin, "At least let us cut into the turkey, damn!" Still, I can understand why Chicago would light up Michigan Ave and host a parade and fireworks in mid-November: the weather tends to cooperate more.

Most of my roommates and I headed down to the end of the parade route at Michigan and Wacker this past Saturday to check out the festivity. Little did we know this event attracts thousands of people, most of them in the 1-9 year old range. Whatever, we still get excited over bright lights and Mickey Mouse.

After the parade, they set off fireworks over the river. They exploded long before reaching the tops of the surrounding buildings, which was a little weird. I've never seen fireworks go off between skyscrapers. The sound of the explosion plus the added reverberations of the sound bouncing off all the buildings made it seem like we were standing in the middle of a thunderstorm. A HUGE thunderstorm.

Fireworks over the Chicago River

Community Night: Folks, People, and Teenagers

As of 2008, there are four to six gang members to every one law enforcement officer in the state of Illinois. California and New Mexico are the only other states with this uneven of a ratio--most fall between the 2-3 or 0-1 gang member per law officer category. In Illinois you can bet the numbers raise considerably when you look at just the city of Chicago. Gang and gang culture is a part of Chicago's history and is intertwined with it's neighborhoods (Chicago is one of the nation's most segregated cities, so the neighborhoods usually also align racially/ethnically and socioeconomically), economy, and politics.

My community learned all of this last night, and the more we learned the more questions we had. How did gangs start, how do people become involved, is there any way to leave a gang, what does this mean for our work here?

The short answer is gangs mean a lot to our work here, not just because we are working with mostly underprivileged youth, but because these youth grew up/are growing up in many neighborhoods affiliated with certain gangs and without any other outlets (supportive family, involvement at school or in sports), many kids in these neighborhoods join their local gangs. It's a way of life, and one that has thrived for so long, many don't really question it.

We concluded our night by watching Sin Nombre, a film mostly about a young girl trying to reach the States with her father, but also about gang culture in Latin America. It was in Spanish with subtitles (BAILEY: will you watch this with me sometime? You'll like it, I promise.) and sparked another lengthy discussion, this time relating the story of the characters with the kids we work with.

CPR & Sneaky Maneuvers

This week has been crazy busy for everyone at Mercy Home. We had an inspection in order to renew our license as a residential facility, which meant lots of extra cleaning and making sure paperwork was up to date. Then yesterday, several coworkers plus us MercyWorkers had to get CPR/First Aid certified. We spent most of the day playing victim or responder with our partners and our lovely CPR mannequins. I felt like I was back home when Dad was going through EMT training as Britney tied a sling around my arm or practiced rolling gauze around my "bleeding" arm.

Our simple living challenge of having roommates ended last night as well, to be replaced with several fines for if we curse, leave our dishes unwashed, or leave our things in the common areas overnight. These three things will definitely be a challenge for most of the house, and I think fining us for doing them is a fair way to amp up the challenge--our guys are typically fined for cursing or not doing their chores, so it's a form of solidarity with them as well.

I should also mention that while last week's challenge technically ended, I'm still going strong with the roommates. It started off as a semi-prank--Diego and Jess moved their mattresses out of Britney's room and were in the process of moving her bed frame back in when I drug my mattress into her room, blocking the bed frame and causing them to leave it in the hallway, along with her dressers. Then I decided to just stay in Brit's room for a while. It took a lot of reorganizing, plus some World War III-esque combat when Diego invited himself into my empty room, but eventually we negotiated a peace treaty between the three of us which involves turning Diego's room into a walk-in closet and utilizing my and Britney's rooms as sleeping quarters/lounge areas. Most of our roommates think we're ridiculous, though they can't really say they were surprised at our actions...they're pretty used to the antics by now.

Mom in Chicago

Yay for moms! When Mom came this past Saturday, I got the chance to feel like a local/tour guide. I showed her around our neighborhood a little, pointing out the empty lot that may become a Target someday, the now nearly finished building that started off as a concrete skeleton when I moved here, and the Walgreens featuring an extra sign in Greek due to its location in Greektown.

We also got to see the view from up inside the Sears (Willis) Tower: the lake and museums to the east, more skyscrapers to the north and south, and MY APARTMENT to the west! Then we walked further downtown so I could show her the Milennium Park area.

Me pointing out my apartment/Mercy Home for Boys & Girls from the Sears Tower

North view from the Sears Tower: the John Hancock Buiding is the tall black one with the two spires.

Mom & me reflected in the Bean

Later, we caught the L to the John Hancock Building for some drinks and another stunning view from the 96th floor Signature Lounge. Then we headed back for some traditional Chicago-style pizza at Giordano's.

Early Sunday morning we went to church a few blocks away at Old St. Pat's, then came back to the apartment to make some breakfast.

It was a quick, but packed, few days and it was nice having a piece of home right before the holiday season. I'll be spending my Thanksgiving here with my roommates, MercyWorks alumni, and any family members in the area--if you'll be around feel free to hit me up, I'm sure we'll have plenty of food!

I'm a PRO.

This probably doesn't mean much to anyone else, but I am now a real-life registered Youth Care Professional since I went through the training (four sort of long days) and passed the test (ten short minutes).

Anyways, I have to go...time for my one-on-one with Stephanieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Snuggling in the name of Simple Living

I am living in community this year, but sometimes I feel like I'm cheating since we all get our own rooms. Whenever I don't want to hang out with my roommates, I close my door. Jess caught on to that trend as well, and decided to make a simple living challenge out of it.

So for the past three nights I haven't slept in my own room; we all literally have roommates until this Wednesday. I personally like it, finally having a nighttime-falling-asleep-can't-quite-remember-the-conversation routine before actually drifting off. It's been a while since I've had to give Andrea "nuggets" from my day or since Dad has sat on the stairs, eavesdropping and waiting for Bailey and me to stop talking at night.

I've also noticed that I'm doing less journal writing this week, which isn't the worst thing in the world, since I'm taking more time to connect with my community members. Also, the wood frame where my mattress used to rest is now being used as a catchall for dirty laundry, wet towels, books, and whatever else finds its way into my room. I may have to rethink that use of available furniture in a few days when I move back.

I might get lost, but I'll be home for dinner.

The conversations in the room quieted to a hush. The small woman took her place at the front of the board room. It didn't really feel like a board room, though. Multicolored candles sat on the mantel over a gas fireplace and the far wall was actually all windows, revealing a small courtyard. The fountain in the middle was off, wooden boards protecting it from the winter that still hadn't hit in early November.

I pushed the remains of my sandwich forward and held my Diet Coke as the woman began her talk. This lunchtime speaker series happened only in the fall and spring, and I didn't want to wait until spring to hear about the dynamic duo of faith and work, so that's why I sacrificed an hour of my day off. A day when I would usually sleep in (or not, maybe I'd wake up too early and wander around the apartment waiting for someone to hang out with), wear sweatpants all day, watch TV episodes online, and just generally recuperate until work again the next day. One day weekends get me like that.

No, instead I was up and dressed like an adult with a real job (okay, fine, business casual) attending an optional talk in a place I both lived and worked. An optional talk that resonated with most of my reasons for moving to Chicago in the first place. What this woman, Karen, was saying was that there is a difference between helping and serving. Helping is when one person has more than the other. More money, more resources, more something. Serving is a meeting of equals. Of two equally imperfect people both trying to figure out something--how to maneuver through life, the meaning of life in the first place.

There was more to the talk--a handful of pretty funny stories, totally relatable too, and a short discussion on what all resonated. I mean, of course faith and work relate directly to our work here. More than that, though, they form two opposite courses of action, ways to show the world what you believe and how you find God. And little by little, with the help of things like today, I'm bringing them together in my mind. That one dichotomy has tripped me up many times, but eventually I'll get it. Until then I just have to keep doing me, doing what I do, hoping it does good in some realm of this universe.

Leo D is making a movie I might actually want to watch!

I finally finished The Devil in the White City a few weeks ago, and I just learned the movie adaptation is in preproduction. I've never been a huge fan of Leo DiCaprio, but this movie might make the cut. My initial feeling is that the movie could easily be more enjoyable than the book, just based on visuals. I loved the creepy doctor storyline, but found myself skimming through the World's Fair sections, and I think seeing that storyline play out would be far more interesting than reading about the construction of buildings and the layout of the fair.

Chow.

I'm still figuring out Chicago's food culture (going out to eat isn't quite an option for volunteers), but thanks to the cafeteria here I'm well aware that Chicago does hot dogs. They've never been my favorite, and I swear we have them every Monday here.

This article talks about what the writer feels Chicago is missing as far as food goes. I can't speak to most of the items, but I heartily agree with her sentiment on needing a Culver's in city limits.

Civic Duties

Saying I voted in the city of Chicago might be a little nerdy to brag about, but considering the pretty intense political history of the city (and the state), I'm impressed with myself. What stuck out for me, reminding me just how far from home I really am, was the amount of non-traditional candidates. For nearly every position there was not only a Republican and Democrat running, but also a Green Party, Independent, and/or Libertarian candidate.

If you don't already know this, my political sentiments align for the most part with libertarian socialism. (This does not make me an anarchist, per se, though close.) Mostly I don't agree with capitalism and prefer local government over federal government...I'm not as extreme on some other issues. Anyways, I was just super excited while voting because for once I didn't have to choose between only two (broken) parties. That's another aspect of my political beliefs--I don't think a two-party system ever works for very long.

In other political news, as a community we attended a forum on ending the death penalty in Illinois. Currently, there is a moratorium on the death penalty here, which means it still exists, but there are no executions. Many hope the death penalty will be totally repealed in the very near future. The two speakers at the forum included a death row inmate who was later found innocent and exonerated (in his case a $10,000 bribe was enough for the judge to throw the trial), and the sister of a woman who was murdered by her boyfriend in 1995.

All this voting and learning about local issues is making me feel like I really do live here. I remember feeling this way in Rome after my history class, or after reading the local newspapers. What sealed the deal in Rome, though, was when tourists would ask me for directions...and that actually happened here the other day while I was walking around downtown. So yes, I'm feeling like a Chicagoan these days.

The Most Interesting Show in the World

Today started off fairly normal with a dentist appointment, and my work retreat with my program's staff at our manager's house was routine as well, but after that the day got far more interesting.

Megan and I walked the few blocks to our voting place at an elementary school, where I saw one of the guys who lives in my program. Turns out he was chosen to work there during Election Day, helping people with their ballots. It's still strange to see the guys not in program.

Then Becca, Diego, and I headed downtown for The Most Interesting Show in the World, sponsored by Dos Equis/their "Most Interesting Man in the World." It was at the House of Blues; even better, it was free.

Luckily we got there an hour early, but the line was already pretty long. While we waited, a man on stilts entertained everyone. At one point he made like he was about to fall, then came near us saying, "I better make sure I'm near a pretty girl if I fall." Becca and Diego pushed me closer to him and I held my arms out, as if to catch him. He then took my hand, introduced himself, and started dancing with me. It's a little weird dancing with a man on stilts, but the best part was when he had me dance through his legs.

Inside, we saw more people dancing and walking around on stilts. It felt like we were at a circus. Slowly we inched our way to the stage and the super sweet DJs. We danced for a while until the show got started.

It really was an interesting show, starting off with the man who held his breath in a water-filled tank for over 15 minutes. There were also lots of songs/dances mixed in with the acts--contortionists, a man who balanced on his head on a basketball and an illusionist who turned his microphone and several cans of spray paint into birds. Not to mention the guy who lit a bowling ball on fire, put steak knives in the finger holes (blade out), kicked it up from the floor and caught it on the side of his head. Also, at this time he had a live scorpion down his pants.

I love impromptu fun.

Ringside 2010

One of the perks of volunteering a year one's life to a nonprofit agency is the opportunity to volunteer for their fundraisers throughout said year. This past Saturday, my roommates and I got all dolled up and headed downtown to the Mariott, where we served as table captains for the high rollers of Chicago for Ringside for Mercy's Sake.

While we were serving wine, vodka and tonics, and harvest ale to our tables, the top dogs of Chicago's financial institutions were duking it out in the boxing ring at the center of the ballroom. The night also included silent and live auctions, a raffle for a 2011 Jaguar, and dancing after all the boxing was done.

We only had to serve drinks during the dinner and boxing, and once that finished we were free to enjoy the live band and dancing as well. That was clearly my favorite part, but I enjoyed the rest of the night too. Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini was the special guest, along with Bobby Rahal, and while I have no idea who most of the boxers were, it was still exciting to watch them box.

The most exciting part? Getting all dressed up and hanging out with grown ups for once...not to mention the free dinner at the hotel before we started to work.

Jumbled

Ew. After two days off to rest up from retreat, I'm now sick and scheduled to work in 40 minutes. Hopefully the Emergen-C/herbal tea I took this morning kicks in soon.

Kate & I carved a Wisconsin pride pumpkin!

Last night my roommates and I carved pumpkins for Community Night. We also did our weekly check-ins, where we tell everyone how we are feeling, if we are struggling with anything, etc. My check-in is usually positive, whether it be that I'm finally understanding my job or that I had a good week exploring Chicago. This week, though, I felt more confused about my feelings.

It started with all the crazy dreams I'd had over retreat and since returning. Stressful, almost hallucinatory dreams involving snakes, broken roller coasters, and people not listening to me. Then I tried rearranging my room, thinking that might help me feel more refreshed, and I ended up boxing my bed in with my dressers and desk. I trapped myself in to a cubicle-thing.

I haven't been to work since last Tuesday and I've been rushing around getting retreat stuff ready, then coming back and unpacking and sorting out things for this week (getting dentist appointments in order, preparing for Ringside this weekend), so it made sense that I'm a little jumbled inside and out.

With some help from my roommates, I moved some of my furniture out into the hallway to clear my room out. I did wake to find it blocking my door (thanks to Britney & Diego), but I also had an epiphany about how to arrange the furniture. Now that area of my life is straightened out and I just have to work on those dreams. I have a feeling getting back to work and into my usual routine will help that.

A little Wisconsin did me good.

My roommates and I made it back to Chicago just in time for a cyclone! For all the hype (it's being called the most powerful storm in 70 years), it's fairly calm today. As in, it's not even raining anymore and the skies are blue.

I'm happy to be back, sleeping in my own bed and only sharing my bathroom with 11 other women instead of all 13 roommates plus our 2 directors, as was the situation on retreat. We were at Camp Dewan, near Burlington, but the day before seven of us were able to leave early to go to Kate's house in Brodhead. There we got to play with her barn kittens (we named them Captain, Crybaby, & Rafie...short for Rafters, which is where we found her), jump on her trampoline, help combine, and go to her brother's high school football game. I loved being in Wisconsin and staying at an actual house.

Retreat was a great way to reconnect with my roommates, because even though I live and work with them, it's hard to have quality time everyday. Camp Dewan is basically a renovated barn with an indoor basketball court/lounge area and loft for sleeping plus a lodge with more sleeping areas. Between sessions we canoed in the pond, played basketball, took nature walks, and had quiet time (aka, napped).

Our sessions focused on building community: trust, working through conflict, getting to know each other, setting ground rules for how our community should operate, etc. Some of the topics we briefly explored during our Orientation retreat, but it was much easier to talk concretely about community after living with each other for two months.

We also had guest speakers (the director of the boys' campus, the vice president of residential programs...some pretty important people), who are all awesome and so open to our questions and suggestions. That's probably one of my favorite things about Mercy Home/the MercyWorks program--people want to hear our suggestions and we know that office doors are always open, whether it's for advice or just to chat. I've been blessed with approachable supervisors in most of my previous jobs as well, and it's really one of the make or break aspects of a job, I think.

Today and tomorrow are my weekend for this week (retreat counts as work), then it's back to homework and chores in Daley Home...I feel like I've been gone from program forever and I'm starting to miss the guys and their antics!

Sex Trafficking in Chicago

I'm heading up to Wisconsin this weekend! Our fall retreat for MercyWorks is in Burlington. I think what I might be most excited about is watching the Packer-Viking game on Sunday.

Last Wednesday we all went to a lecture on sex trafficking and prostitution in Chicago. It was led in part by an ex-prostitute and the discussion focused on pimps/madams. Lots of people assume pimps aren't as common as they used to be, but they are still prevalent. The leaders of the lecture did a study on 25 ex-pimps to learn about their backgrounds, motives, etc, and their results were pretty enlightening. Every person they talked to had a history of domestic violence in their homes and most experienced physical or sexual abuse as a child.

There was a lot of information to take in, but what got me most was the fact that what my coworkers and I do at Mercy linked directly to the talk. Many of our youth come from abusive backgrounds, backgrounds that would put them at greater risk for getting into the business, as it were. Which just added one more thing for me to think about at work.

10.10.10

I planned on waking up early this morning--at least by nine--but I didn't factor in the noise of the Chicago Marathon, which woke me up a tad earlier. I guess 45,000 people are a little noisy.

marathoners on Adams

Mercy Home sits smack dab in between miles 15 and 17, so our apartment was literally surrounded by runners for the better part of the morning. Along with the runners come all of the spectators, squad cars, and for Mercy Home, a drumline. That's right, to cheer on the marathoners we had food, balloons, drums, and lots of people.



marathon supporters outside of Mercy Home

There were so many people to watch and to cheer on (lots of people have their names written on their shirts/arms so anyone can cheer for them), and I loved seeing the crazy costumes some runners wore (a banana suit and giant Eiffel Tower being the goofiest). The weather was perfect for spectating, though I'm sure the marathoners wished it was a little cooler. Unfortunately we had our Sunday house meeting at 11, so I didn't get to see the end of the marathon, but having banana pancakes, eggs, bacon, and crazy bread after the meeting in celebration of Jillian's birthday made it all okay.

Here's a clip of some of the runners...including the Eiffel Tower man:

City Year Recruitment

I never thought I'd feel like an expert on MercyWorks, but recruiting at a post-service fair proved me wrong. After discussing the particulars of my year of service to more than several of the 150 City Year members at Malcolm X College yesterday, I feel like a MercyWorks spokesperson.

City Year is a year of service much like MercyWorks, except there are tons of volunteers all over the country and they find their own housing in the cities they are serving. They usually end up being placed in schools as mentors and tutors and after their year they might either want to pursue another volunteer year, attend grad school, or go into full time employment. Hence the post-service fair.

Since all of the City Year members know what a year of service is, I didn't have to do a lot of explaining. I mostly got to talk about what makes MercyWorks different from other volunteer programs--namely, that all 14 MercyWorkers work for the same agency for the year and they have the option of signing on for full-time employment once their year is complete. Many volunteer programs place you in outside agencies (schools, hospitals, shelters, nonprofits) and function only as the home base for volunteers.

The City Year members also had a lot of questions about what we actually do. After describing Mercy Home to them (or to anyone), it can still be confusing as to what our job descriptions actually are. My answer to the "So what do you do?" question is usually "I'm still figuring that out." All job titles within Mercy Home tend to be flexible and inclusive, so "Youth Care Worker" encompasses a multitude of responsibilities. I summed it up by saying I provide basic structure (dinner, homework, chores, gym) for the youth as well as act as an advocate for their personal, educational, and social needs (along with giving some concrete examples).

The funny part was, when they asked how long I'd been at Mercy Home and I said two months, they seemed surprised. I was surprised too, at all the random information I knew about Mercy Home and how normal it felt to talk about it.

Regaining Confidence & Energy

I can't believe it's October--not only because I can't believe I've been here almost two months, but also because it's been so warm these past few days! Luckily I've been able to take advantage of the sun with long walks and outdoor activities.

On Monday we had Oklahoma Training (named so because it was developed at the University of Oklahoma), which basically amounted to a discussion of leadership styles, how to alleviate stress, and other practical things about working in a residential facility. It's a very useful training, and once I've completed all the sessions I will be a licensed youth care professional, so it's also resume-building.

I spent my day off on Wednesday boosting my confidence by making a dentist appointment, figuring out public transportation to get myself to the Museum of Science and Industry (two transfers for a total of three different L lines), and popping in to program to find out that the morning checklist I made for my advocatee the night before did indeed help get him out the door on time. Okay, so none of these things were really that challenging, but I'd been feeling a little incompetent at work so these little things helped.

There were tons of school groups at the Museum since it was a free day, and they reminded me just how different my childhood/education is from the youth I work with. I've been to the Museum before, on a family vacation when I was in third grade, but Chicago schoolkids go there for field trips (depending on what schools they attend). Sometimes at work I marvel at the opportunities the guys have--even just the opportunity to attend good schools.

I know I probably didn't appreciate my education while I was in school, but after learning about the education system in general in my different classes, I feel like a part of my job is pointing out the blessing of a basic education to the guys. In so many ways they tend to think day-to-day--homework, reading, assignments--instead of seeing the bigger picture--high school diploma, college, living independently. I know they have a lot on their plates besides school (past traumas, behavioral issues, family stressors), but because of where they are now, the hope is that they have the support and resources to better handle these things. At least that's how I understand it.

Processing all this stuff is overwhelming sometimes. That's why they preach self-care at all the trainings...it's hard to help someone else if you aren't taking care of yourself. That being said, I will feel no shame for watching Tremors and taking a nap on the couch today.