Teacher: What's a perfect society?
Student: Not this!
Student: No Donald Trump!
Student More teachers!
Teacher: Standardized tests are coming soon, be ready to read for two hours!
Student: Yes! I love reading!
Student, after reading "The Lottery": So...she doesn't win any money?
Student, looking at my wrists: Don't guys wear their watches on the right and girls on the left?
Me: Well, usually you wear it on the opposite wrist of the hand you write with, but you can wear it on whatever wrist you want.
Student: But, like low key, guys right, girls left...right?
Me: Um, no.
A list of "compliments" from students (mostly female) to my coworkers and me (also mostly female):
-You would look cute pregnant.
-You're not wearing make up today, right?
-Are those your real eyes?
-You could be in your twenties. Late twenties. Or maybe early thirties.
-Do you ever wear make up?
-That's your natural hair color I bet.