Golden Globes 2014

Welcome back to another awards season! Live-blogging starts here, TONIGHT, January 12, at 7 PM Central Time...or whenever football gets boring/ends and I switch channels. See you in about an hour, people!

10:00 pm - Good Night!

Thanks for joining me! I believe the Grammys are next, at the end of the month.

9:56 pm - Final Award, We Made It

Johnny Depp: "Woah, that's a lot of people." Where have you been the entire show?

Best Motion Picture (drama): 12 Years a Slave, directed by Steve McQueen. Why does no one ever expect to win? There are only five nominees, you all have a 20% chance.

"This is the beautiful mess we hoped it would be" - Tina  "And I got to make out with Bono." - Amy

9:44 pm - The Big Awards

Tina with a supermodel vagina joke - and a weird blackout? Did that happen to everyone?

Best Actress (motion picture - drama): Cate Blanchett for Blue Jasmine. Her hair won't move at all. Flawless.

Jessica Chastain's hair should be moving...that doesn't look great.

Best Actor (motion picture - drama): Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club. He sounds like he has a few vodkas under his belt.

9:35 pm - A Movie Trailer and an Award

Drew Barrymore, this is a much better dress than you wore the other night.

Best Motion Picture (comedy/musical): American Hustle, which I've seen!

9:26 pm - An Award and a Movie Trailer

Best Actor (motion piction - musical/comedy): Leonardo DiCaprio for The Wolf of Wall Street.

Reese Witherspoon has a great haircut. Simple dress, too.

Maybe we would get through these a little quicker if we didn't have so many commercials? Although I'm enjoying the opportunity to pee and eat.

9:15 pm - Some More Awards

Best Director: Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity, after the film's introduction. Herpes, ear piece...yeah, they sound pretty similar.

Best TV Series (comedy): Will Brooklyn Nine-Nine steal it again? Yep. While I don't think that show is great (or better than the more deserving nominees, Parks and Recreation and Modern Family), I honestly didn't care who won as long as it wasn't The Big Bang Theory.

9:02 pm - Cecil B. DeMille Award

Emma Stone - another funny lady, which thankfully isn't marred by a weird dress choice.

Diane Keaton accepting for Woody Allen: she certainly dressed the part.

8:52 pm - Wow We Are Still Here

Best Animated Film: Frozen! There's a nominee I know something about, finally! "Let it Go" really is a great song, and while I had issues with the movie, it was still enjoyable on the whole.

Best Actress (TV Series - Comedy): I think it's obvious how funny these ladies are just by the quick cuts to them. We live in a world with a lot of funny women. Many congratulations to Amy Poehler (3-time Golden Globe nominee, 6-time Emmy nominee, 1-time winner--she really does never win these things) and Parks & Rec!

8:40 pm - There Are A Lot Of Awards

Best Foreign Language Film: The Great Beauty. Congrats.

Here we go, more dresses! And more jokes.

Best Actor (TV movie): Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra. Lots of wins for that. So sad Jesus and I didn't use our free Redbox credit for that instead of Man of Steel, though it seems to be worth the $1.20 we would pay for it. "The only reason you're not here is because I had more sequins." --Douglas to Damon, but really to the world.

8:28 pm - Still Awards!

Emma Thompson holding a martini glass in one hand and her shoes in the other: this is the Golden Globes, people.

Best Screenplay: Spike Jonze, Her. "I'm bad at speaking English and it's the only language I know."

Tina and Amy - no dress changes? Boo.

Julie Bowen and Seth Meyers - have they acted together? I think it would go well.

Best Actor (TV Series): Andy Samberg in a STEAL...I'm beyond pleased that Jim Parsons didn't win for his less than stellar acting in The Big Bang Theory, a less than stellar show that somehow always wins at these things. Andy's killing this acceptance speech. "I guess I'll just thank everyone."

8:14 pm - More Awards

Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick & daughter Sosie Bacon - adorable.
Tina Fey & "adult son" Randy - hilarious.

Best Actress (TV series, drama): Robin Wright with a run to the stage! Yeah, someone gets it!

Woah, Jim Carrey coming out with the sarcasm right away.

Best Supporting Actor (motion picture): Jared Leto, who I really want to see in Dallas Buyers Club, along with Matthew McConaughey. He has a subtle beauty that men don't normally possess.

8:02 pm - Awards, Awards, Awards

Go Chicago Fire! And beautiful lady! (Amber Heard)

Best Supporting Actor (TV series/mini-series, etc, etc): Jon Voight in something I've neither seen nor heard of, surprise surprise. Wow, so Jon Voight operates better with a script.

Olivia Wilde, you look like a majestic pregnant mermaid.

Robert Downey, Jr. is a classy dapper guy.

Best Actress (comedy): Amy Adams. LOVE her dress. I could never wear that, but she looks great. It's reminiscent of her wardrobe in American Hustle.

7:49 pm - Music Awards

So official with those names - Sean Combs, Usher Raymond IV - very classy.

Best Original Score (motion picture): Alex Ebert, All is Lost...are we thinking hipster? Cute anecdote of the time he partied with Diddy on a boat. "Even the most deft pen is a clumsy tool." Such wisdom from a soft-spoken dude...who parties with Diddy on boats.

Best Original Song (motion picture): Wow, this is a stacked category. All solid nominees. Congrats, "Ordinary Love," Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, and Bono/U2. I wonder if Chris Martin is thinking, Man why did I help them, I could've won!

Wait, why was Kate Beckinsale even up there?

7:34 pm - More Tina & Amy, More Awards

President's speech. I don't remember this from last year. I guess I must've taken a bathroom break.

Margot Robbie is beautiful/adorable.

I do not like Paula Patton's dress. Her voice helps make up for it, though.

Best Actor in a TV Series/Drama: Bryan Cranston. There was no way he wasn't going to win, especially since Breaking Bad finished and has no more award chances after this year. I'm still on the first season, but I'm a fan so far!

Best TV Series (drama): Breaking Bad. Once again, this was its last chance, so it makes sense for them to win. Congrats, AMC.

Does their speech time get cut into for how long it takes to get on stage? I guess usually there is a voice-over with fun facts and tonight they are just playing theme music, which can get a little strange and make it seem like the walk to the stage takes forever.

7:22 pm - Mini-series/TV movies

Ah, the mini-series/TV movies. I think I've seen zero in my lifetime. My guess is it'll be Top of the Lake or Behind the Candelabra...the shows with directions in their titles always win.

Behind the Candelabra wins--I think they got an Emmy as well?

People need to hurry it up on their way to the stage. This is taking forever.

Best Actress (mini-series/TV movie): Elizabeth Moss...there's the Top of the Lake win. Another shaker. I love the earrings. They go great with that dress, which goes great with her hair.

It's Matt Damon, the garbage man! (And actor from Behind the Candelabra.)

6:58 pm - Show Opening & First Awards

This countdown is stressing me out. Where are Tina and Amy and their 50 outfit changes?

Tina: Love the color, the cut, the jewels of that dress. Amy: Same. Gorgeous back detail too...and we're at 2 different outfits so far (they had different dresses on the red carpet).

I'm so glad I now know for sure how to pronounce Meryl Streep's last name. Still sounds funny to me.

This is a nice little overview they are giving. Nice because I haven't seen or heard of a lot of the nominees...woops. And it's always fun to see Hollywood make fun of itself and enjoy it. This is like a general Hollywood roast.

Tim Hanks can't get a break tonight and that is awesome. Tam Hunks/Hawks. Ha.

Here we go, awards.

Best Supporting Actress (movie): Jennifer Lawrence...and she is the only one who is surprised. I love her new haircut. I'm not so much in love with the dress. The double belt thing is not doing it for me, especially how it cuts off right under her butt. Appropriate acceptance speech for her personality--quirky, bubbly, nervous--but c'mon girl, you knew you would win.

Best Supporting Actress (TV/miniseries): Jaqueline Bisset...looks heartbroken. People, this is an award! It's a good thing, but not something to be so dramatic about. Get it together! This is why these shows go on forever.