After telling a few PDA offenders to give each other some space: "You're just jealous your husband isn't here." (I mean, true, tbh...)
Patron #1: Do you know any Roblox keyboard commands?
Me: Nope...[Name of a younger coworker] might, he's a nerd. I'm not.
Patron #2: ...You're a librarian.
Patron: Why does the library have to close?
Me: Well, I can't stay here all night.
Patron: I would!
"Do you have any books to help my sister break up with her boyfriend?" (ABSOLUTELY I DO!)
Patron: What time is it?
Me: Time for you to get a watch.
Patron: Time for you to get a better joke!
Let's Call This Segment I FEEL OLD
While playing Apples to Apples: "Who's Puff Daddy?"
While discussing photography: "What's a camcorder?" What's a tape? What's film?"
After asking that they leave the ashtray outside alone: "What's an ashtray?"
After explaining how people put out cigarettes: "What do you mean..don't you just turn them off?"
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