It has taken me a long time to begin putting to rest the person I thought I was,
or the person everyone else thought I was.
Every day I have to say,
No I will not be her. I will not be her for you,
I will not be her because she is what you want,
because she is familiar and people like her.
I know that saying goodbye to her is like
throwing away my oldest pair of sneakers.
Dirty, stinky, they no longer have a purpose,
but they are comfortable and take no risks.
Still, there is no room for her where I am going.
She can only get in the way, bring me down,
trip me up, cause trouble.
I'll try not to miss her, the ugly thing.